Her Little Dark Side - Comments

I absolutely love how in the first chapter your description of Blair is very vivid and also creatively written. I personally like it when writers are able to show rather than simply tell, and you are one of those writers. Your words flow really well and although I've never read a story like this before, you've already got me convinced of your writing prowess from reading just the first chapter.

Good job on your part and good luck writing! I know this hasn't been updated in well over three years, but do consider writing again for this story, as you've already got a great start right here.

Sadly, I only found out about your story from the comment swap, I've never read an original fiction like this...well anywhere!!! You had me hooked on it from the first sentence!! I love the connection between Blair and Raegan and can't wait for you to update soon!!
The only criticism I have is in the news report bit, the name Chamberlain just appeared a tad too often, but aside from that - NO criticisms I love it!!
Good luck, I hate it when I get writer's block and I hope you update soon!!

First chapter in an you have me captivated already. Although the layout is a bit dull and doesn't fit the story. It's beautifully written. Makes me want to subscribe and continue reading it. I do hope the rest of it is just as good as the first chapter. I may be from the comment swapping system, but this is the first story I've actually read and enjoyed, even without a description.

Aside from the good feedback, there wasn't anything too bad with it. I would suggest possibly getting someone to beta your story to help improve on your grammar.

Other than that, I do hope you continue it. I do plan on commenting with each chapter I read.

I found it a bit hard to figure out what was going on at times. It's a great narrative, don't get me wrong, I would maybe add a story description to let people know. I would also chop up your paragraphs more, as there were times where it was hard to read because it was a huge block of text. It's a really good story so far though. =)

well ur a lot better then me... a narrative style, i started that way, but with narrative style u show not tell, witch is hard cuase plots are easy to tell the show so i moved to first person witch im surprizingly good at, emotions are fun to FUCK! with

I love it, Teddy Bear, update soon pretty pwease! :D

Love it! Keep it up! =)

I love how this story is so different! :) Can't wait till the next chapter!