I Hate Missing You. - Comments

Once again, I totally adored this piece <3 I think this may be the first oneshot that I've gotten through comment swap, so that made me breathe a sigh of relief because I don't really like reading chaptered fics, and because I only read one chapter for a swap, I feel like I'm always missing something

Anyways, moving onto the actual story, I reallyl iked how you chose to format this piece, elaborating on each state that she had lived in, and I thought that her experiences in each place helped to really flesh her out as a character. I also liked the fact that I could really hear the character's voice through the writing, as opposed to a lot of first-person that just reads like "I got out of bed. I went downstairs. I did this. I did that" and so on.

As far as concrit goes, I did feel like there were a few instances were the flow was a little choppy, and I did notice quite a bit of repetition in this. For example, I think you mention four or five times in the first few paragraphs that her father's in the military, and I found that a little redundant.

Overall, I thought this piece was beautiful, and I think you did an amazing job with it.

Very good story, I read the first couple of chapters and it is very well written. It is hard, sometimes, to successfully captivate readers with nothing but the opening paragraph but I have to admit that you did very well in that respect. Keep up the great work, it is very well done!

I can't help but agree with devin oliver. This was just amazing.

Seriously, I'm speechless.

Good job :)

omg i loved this!
it was soooo good.
i hope you write moreeeee. =)

Great story :D
post more? :}