October 28th, 2010 at 10:18pm
This was well written. At first, I was tempted to stop reading all together. Glad I did not. XD
Next, there were a spelling errors ("Nothing," she whispered, "juts [just] um...wondering where you had gone off to?") And grammatical errors with the thoughts of Silver, which were the commas.
I loved how well you described Silver and River's surroundings and how you led to the finally line.
Fix those grammatical errors and it should be just fine. Your score will be posted on the main thread.