Masquerade - Comments

First of all, I have to warn you that my comments are usually long and you might get bored reading this by the end. And I'm so sorry it took so long for me to do this. ^^' I'm using my phone, again, so I apologize if something sounds weird (as I always say).

Anyway, the layout is nice and simple, as I always think of other story layouts. The colours are calm, and they comfort my eyes. The banner is, too, nice to see except that I rather not picture the main characters' faces as the people in the banner.

Vampire stories are not usually my type of story but I read this anyway. I like the flow of this story because you really have the ability to play with words, plus your vocabulary is fantastic, although there are some words that you pick don't really fit and you used them in the wrong way. There are some parts you're confused singular with plural, when you used 'is' instead of 'are' like in chapter 4 - There's people stationed all around down here, waiting to stop you if you try to leave. It's supposed to be there are.

Also, when you use apostrophe in some cases that you shouldn't like in chapter 13 - The bee's are busy as ever bees. Some parts in a sentence, that you should put a comma, you didn't and it might confuse the readers.

You're a talented writer but if you avoid those mistakes, you'll be freakishly amazing. Perhaps you have to give this story another check so it would be free of careless mistakes which I have to say, there were many of them (not just the ones I pointed out above). I, too, have the same problem with my chaptered story which is why I keep reading it over and over again.

Anyhow, the story! I Iike it! It got me hooked that I couldn't leave my phone to read it. I think it was because of your writing style that made me love the story. I super love your writing style! *thumbs up* It was unexpected that Jameson was lying all along. The Devil was rather interesting than scary. I don't know how but I kept picturing Voldermort when he was in play. Lol.

I think Jameson is probably the main character I ever hated in mibba. It's a good thing, though, because he rather made the story more interesting. I don't know, he's much of a coward! A liar, a backstabber and.. a coward! I don't know why and how Delilah even thought she might had feelings for him if she had a heart. He's a coward! If I were her, I'd never let him come near me and I'd most certainly ignore him. Some part of me hope that Delilah found a new companion to replace him. I don't know, I just really hate it how Jameson betrayed her twice and she still gave him a chance. He didn't deserve it! however one thing I like about him is that he's a wizard, and I love wizards.

The characters that I find very amusing is that witch who helped Delilah and Jameson and gave them blood, and the one who also helped them but kicked them out after. Don't mind me, I'm weird. I don't like Jameson's father. He's annoying. With him, I always picture him as the queen in Pendragon book One, you have to read it, it's funny. xD

I love the last chapter, I could practically imagine the changing scenes, it was brilliant. You are brilliant. This is interesting, and I'm glad I'm subbing because I can't can't can't can't can't wait for the updatee!

The first chapter gave me chills, especially the last line. Gonna subscribe.

First off, I have a story with a main character called Delilah, and I love that name. It made me happy to see it used in another story. XD

Secondly, if you publish this, PLEASE tell me. I want a copy. Seriously. The idea to this and the writing are both absolutely amazing. You rock.

Hello there, NaNoWriMo story.
I've just read the prologue so far, but I quite like the idea of this. The writing flows very well, and I love your descriptions. The concept of the masquerade ball and how you've combined it with murder and even some horror elements is fascinating as well, I look forward to reading more of this.

wow aswesume write more...

Ooh, I likey! It flows very nicely and I adore the layout! :D