Sarah. - Comments

I told you. I knew you could do it. :)

I can't really say much about this, since it's so short, but I think that hopes anchor and the jester. said everything that I wanted to. However, I'll try to put my own input on this. Anyways, it's so incredibly pretty; and since you said you write poetry, it does seem like a poem a bit. It's also straightforward, but not the straightforward where it's shoved down your throat, haha! And I like the little mystery factor in it (:
Lovely job, hun! <3

I really like this. (:

For being your first attempt at writing something that's not poetry - this is fantastic. I agree with hopes anchor, despite it being quite short your words held a lot of emotion. Your descriptions are lovely, but this sentence was a bit awkward for me: His memory crept up from the corner and slid into her parted lips, down her throat, up her nose, into her head. I loved the first part, the idea of his memory slipping past her lips, but I felt the rest kind of dragged on. Obviously you're wanting his memory in her head, but yeah.
Overall, this was really well done. Good job. :}

This is fantastic.
It's short and simple, but had a lot of emotion in it, just like your poetry.
I love your writing style. You were straightforward about what was happening in it, without making it uninteresting. And you had just enough mystery in it to keep me reading.

It's honestly the best short story I've read in awhile.
Well done :)