Skin and Bones - Comments

I can't pretend I fully empathize, because I don't, but I do empathize on some level. This is beautiful and heartbreaking and really, really fucking scary. I don't know how Mibba feels about cursing in comments, but it had to be said. I know a few people who have suffered from eating disorders, but I've known more who have (and I have, myself) suffered from anxiety or depression (the two often come hand in hand, in my experience) and this wasn't exactly how I've felt, or how it's been described by others, but it's not too far off. It's different for everyone, and besides this being a great and well written story, you're amazingly brave, and, I'm sure, beautiful. So thanks, for writing this and being brave enough to share your story, even just parts of it, because it was tragic and beautiful and amazing and I feel infinitely more human and connected. Thank you.

I inmediately loved the story from the start. Very crude and touchy. But what I liked the most is that you worte this as a way to show the people the personal feelings you and many others hve/had with this disorders. Hope you are all right.
I have already read this and Satellite Heart and I loves both. Will be checking your other soon.

Wow, you are so talented. I felt like I was there with Sky; I felt her sadness, I felt her pain. I read this all in one sitting, it was that beautiful. It was honest. It was real. It was amazing. Just, simply... amazing.

My heart goes out to you; I hope everything works out magnificantly for you. You deserve nothing but happiness. And I sincerely hope that you can overcome this.

Good luck, darling.

Summary: Win. The old Silverchair is amazing, and any of their lyrics are just beautiful to have anywhere for a story. :) Just. A. Win. Also, I went to another chapter a while back and saw that Ed was Eating Disorder, and just from that, I know what it is, and I really like how you've left this little allusion of Ed being a character rather than a disease or what have you. :) Thought that was really well done. :)

Prologue
What she did hurt parts of me I didn’t know was possible - I never knew were

could look you into the - in

Again, I really like how Ed is portrayed as someone, a voice in her head - but it's not a someone you can see, or touch. Just a someone you can feel and hear all the time. :) I think it's really great how you've written Ed in like that, and that you haven't flat out called it an Eating Disorder. Also, I don't think you should even mention that in your author's note. I think that something like Ed would be a neat way to trick readers, or surprise them even. :)

Letters
the goal I never - goal, I

I don't know if you knew you did this here: my stomach thumping inside my chest at the prospect. but that's rather interesting. I can't say it's wrong, because you know...you'd generally look at it and think, wait, that's meant to be heart. But it's not. Because she's devoid of all feeling. She can't even write love to her dead sister. But it's good, because you're showing the reader that her stomach has taken place of her heart...and that what was in her heart never mattered, it was what was in her head and Ed dictates what her stomach craves. :) Anywho, I just thought I'd point that out...because it's pretty good. :)

Also, what I like about this is that she assumes her family doesn't care. And that's a good thing. Because, according to Doctor Phil :), the best way to hep someone through eating disorders is to not give in to them, to not play victim with them. :) And I think you're kind of doing that, but not to an extreme as of yet. :)

Beautiful
went by the whisper by, the

the layours of loneliness - layers?

and instead clenching in fists - clenched

they opened that were much - they were that much?

waitress standing there, our food balancing in his hands.
Waiter = He
Waitress = She
And it's meant to be she, and you wrote his I believe. :)

Running
I don’t think you’d like what you’d see - what you saw

I span back around - spun

Okay, I have another question. Did she run up the stairs into her bedroom and sob on her bed a bit maybe two chapters ago? And now she can toe the ground from her bedroom window? (There might not have been stairs two chapters or so ago, but I was certain that there may have been).

“Sky?!” - only use one of those.

Finally
Day passed - Days

I began to too. - to as well; just so there's not that much awkwardness reading to and too, :)

than I had every - ever

I'm going to put this on my subscriptions list, regardless of the fact that Sky's story is over for now, because I really did like this story. Seriously, it's my favourite of the one's you asked me to read. :) I read it all in one sitting, and it just blew my mind, so I'm glad I left that one for last. :) I like how you've made it personal to yourself, and how it's helped you in your journey also. :) And I hope Sky sits in your head and tells you that you can make it through all of this. :)

That's really all I can say. :) It's such a lovely piece. :)

Wow.
This was packed with emotion and it moved at the perfect pace. I'm glad you had the strength to write this since it hit so close to home. Your story was exactly what I was looking for. I loved the characters and the plot. I trully loved this and I hope you'll be able to cope with your own struggles. You scored a perfect score: 50 out of 50

Alright, firstly I'd like to apologize for how long it took me to do this review. Procrastination piled on top of college and Zelda are just...yeah. Anyway. Here we go. :)

--

I like the title, and the layout. I have no idea who John Oh'Callaghan or whatever his name is--is. No clue at all, but hopefully that won't ruin my reading experience? In any case, onward!

The fact that this is a true story, mixed with fanfiction is quite interesting. I can tell from the title this will be something that tears me up a bit. But I definitely like the idea you have here. Oh and just so you know, this story is 44 pages on my Microsoft Word....I hate you. :3

Summary
One thing I have to say is that it's irrevocable. I'm intrigued. Is Ed like an alter-ego? A part of her as in just in her head?

Content
That first line kind of put me off. I can understand if she didn't want to be rail-thin but I think every person on some level wants to have a body they're comfortable with. I think maybe she should say something just different...I understand not wanting to be skinny but the sentence just kind of...eh, I don't really like it.

Op, there's my answer about Ed. Not an alter ego.

Okay, so I've read about half of the story so far. And your grammar and spelling is flawless. I don't have any advice for aside from what I've already said. This is truly a heartbreaking story and while I know some aspects are true while others aren't either way it's a magnificent story and you're very brave to be able to put it out there for the small world of Mibba to see. Congratulations bb. This is beautifully done. :]

This is amazing <3 I loved it <3
I really hope you're alright with everything.

that was absolutely beautiful. its a horrible thought to know that you went through all of this, and you were so strong to put it on here to show everyone what youve gone through. you are a star, and i loved it. xx

I’m sorry it took so long to get this to you, I thought I had commented and it turns out that I didn’t.

The layout is wonderful, so wonderful that I stole the background to use as my wallpaper haha.

Now, I’m not a big fan of John O'Callaghan, but this story sounds very interesting and I’m glad you gave me the name in my journal. I could hardly find any grammatical errors, so I know you put time into this. I think the way you started this was excellent, that first sentence is a real clincher. Not many stories on Mibba have a good clincher like this. I find myself pushed away instead of drawn in, like I was here.

Sky seems so . . . real. Like how you told me that Damien was real. You explain her so well that it’s as if she lives down the street from me. I can totally see her character and personality and understand what she’s talking about. I especially like where you got the name for Ed, very clever.

The flow of this was flawless. I never once thought that your word choice or sentence placement could be improved.

I really hope you do well in the contest. I think this deserves first place :D

this is probably one of the best stories I've ever written, ever.
nd I'm glad you shared it with us.
sad that it has come to an end but either way; it's beautiful.

Oh, wow, Grampaa. You are never allowed to call yourself a bad writtter again. Whether you`re saying it to me or not. You`re just not allowed to.

That first bit, in the letter, aboot people being different, but how they should all be the same, can you please tell me how you come up with that? That was pure genius.

And then, of course, the rest of it is equally sad - and amazing, but I hope you realize that I'm prone to saying 'sad'. (Especially in your story comments. There's rarely ever anything happy in these stories.)

Oh, wow. First Ed's just his regular asshole self, and then he's like all 'Yay! Go Sky! You are ah-maze-zing!' I guess it's because he's winning, huh?
(And don't even think aboot lying and saying that he's not. I'm not retarded.)

Zomg. John's so sweet. (And, I have to say, heartbreaking when he's sad, too)

But yeah. That chapter was great. (And sad)

(Oh, and I know you'll be reading this comment, and by that time, you'll already know this, but I'm just going to smush these two chapter comments together. Sorries if that bothers you.)

Wowzers. That beginning with the stuff aboot time, that's a lot like the beginning I have for chapter 3 of WMD. (Er, what I can remember of it... It's been a while since I wrote that.)

Aww, that's adorable. (And somehow, I knew that John was going to be a great help to her :)
[/such a genius. and a psychic genius, at that.]

Zomg, Grampaa. Why couldn't you just slaughter Ed? why is he still 'whispering' to her? ZOMG NO. ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE HER NEED TO BE 'PERFECT' AGAIN? NOOOOOO. DON'T. YOU CAN'T.

...You can't.
[/had to try it.]

OH THANK GOD.
Siriusly, Sky, I am so proud of you. Aboot as proud of you as I was of Neville when he killed Nagini.

...
(What did you expect? I AM A POTTERHEAD. Not hard to figure out.)

...Aww. I love you for writtting this.

Hm... I think I actually knew that... Not for how long, though. But still, I knew.
(Just another reason why I love you for writtting this.)

[/not going to linger on this part of the comment, because she doesn't want to get all sappy and... well, sad.]

[/ahem] Grampaa. I read all of your stories. I comment on all of your stories. In fact, I talk to you nearly everyday.

And since when did you wish me a happy... anything? That's not very Grampaa-ish of you...

But, anyways, this was great :)
...
Um, well, better end this comment off as awkwardly and abruptly as usual :)

BYES!

that was amazing

Otay, seriously Grampaa? That was the longest motherfung chapter I've ever read. I just went on and on and on. Is it really that hard to cut it in two? Uh, NO.
[/stoopid Grampaa is stoopid]

But it was good. Really depressing, though.And quite long. Did I mention that?

And, I really must say, I'm not a big fan of Ed's...
John's not too bad, though. (And you know that I mean Ah-maze-zing when I say not too bad, yes? Oh. Well, now you do.
Oh, and let's not forget adorable. He was just really fung adorable in there.)

Oh, fuck you. Just fuck you.
That bit with her parents made me cry. Are you happy now, Gramps? You fung happy?
('Cause I'm not.)

Okay, seriously? JUST FUCKING KILL ED AND EVERYTHING GETS BETTER. 'TIS VERY SIMPLE, YES?
Goddamn. Just make one of your characters happy for once.

Actually, you know what? Just go here.

OHMYGOD. The old lady. Tsk, tsk. So... presumptuous.

Oh, goddamn, Sky. Yes you do. You need to be fung saved.
And Ashleigh over here certainly will not be the one to save you. Keeping Ed around, having her resist 24/7. Crazy, crazy, uncaring Grampaa.

Otay, so she knows that she did something right by agreeing to eat. Make her do it more now.
Oh, come on! You're like, the God of this story. In the words of Zacky V: "Do it."
Otay?

Why are all the waitresses in your stories all snotty, annoying, bichy whores? WHY?
THE ALMIGHTY IGGY DEMANDS AN ANSWER.
[/she would not be so demanding if you had just bowed down to her earlier...]

Zomg. That it aboot her caring aboot dying: GENIUS. PURE GENIUS. And, not to mention, pretty fung ah-maze-zing.
Pssh. And you call Iggy a good writtter.

D'awww.
You have no idea how much you just made me love John. Barely know a goddamn thing aboot him, and he may not be anything like this in reality, but whatever. [/in looooooooooooove]

Zomg, Gramps.
I love the little message in the Author's note, but you're turning into a therapist or some shit. Not saying it's not good advice, but still.
You're changing on me here, Grampaa. You're supposed to be evil.

So yeah. Stop it.

...
BYES!

I honestly love this story. Every time I read it I fall more and more in love with it. It is such a beautiful story held with a lot of passion. This story is so put together and every sentence flows with the next sentence. I can't wait for you to update again!

I loved it. Seriously, the whole story is so beautiful and I cant wait to read more!
Xoxo <3
ks

I loved it. Seriously, the whole story is so beautiful and I cant wait to read more!
Xoxo <3
ks

this is mind-blowing.
it's so beautiful.

Beautifully written. (:

again, that was amazing. i really cant wait for another update.

i'm really falling in love with this. i know there's only two chapters up. but i feel like i can really connect with it. i love that it's not going to be a typical story. there's more to it. and there's depth. and i really think you should be proud of yourself for writing something so beautiful.

i can't wait to read more. :)