Little Ivory Keys - Comments

I feel as if you should put more explaination and description as things are going on, to not only lengthen your chapters, but to fill the reader in with whats going on with Nathaniel. I feel like Chapter 6 came out of no where with no reasoning behind it. I may be wrong, but all in all, your writing is still very good :)

This story is really good and well written. Not too many grammatical errors or mistakes. I'm very interested in how it will take off. I love the precedent you have set for it, not many other stories I have read have tackled this type of subject matter. Very good job :)

i received your story via comment swap and i must start by saying that i enjoyed reading this. it was quite good...your vocabulary is lovely, it creates nice images. some of the words you chose to use seemed to be repetitive at some points but i dont think it took anything away from the story itself. its a nice concept. i loved the line "he must have stolen the hearts of many ladies. He knew the finer things in life". possibly my favorite line. I think at some points your descriptives were a tad disjointed. it was a little jumpy, making the story somewhat clipped for lack of a better word. All in all a good story that i enjoyed reading. I hope you update this soon, i'd like to see where this can go...

(Comment Swap) The summary is too repettetive, the lines are cut, in what I see as the wrong places. Try to maintain 'paragraph integrity'?
(Chapter 5) Maybe this chapter is facing me colder then needs to be?
Just like the man is dismissing her, just like that?
I read the story without tripping, but in the end, I'm not missing it, as the text ended.
The words flow, but are not warming.
Curious choice of vocabulary.
Maybe the story feels more clipped then I'd enjoy.

Aside from that, nohting I can pick out, and pick on.

Wow, that is the only word that really comes to mind. I mean really, I know I shouldn't, but I think this is amazing. The grammar mistakes are more in context really. In some cases there should be a semicolon instead of a period. The first three sentences of the chapter school really could use some changing. Instead of making every sentence start with the school, you should try to change the word usage to something like the institute. Other than that, I was hooked after the summary. It was so interesting, and it really made me want to read on. The characters seem very real, and that is something I respect. Even though it had been a long time, could you please update. Subscribed.

It's different, but I kinda like it in a weird kind of stalker way. Haha(:

Eh, I should pay more attention. Thanks for telling me that.

I like this.
Uh, there's a few grammatical errors in chapter four, but besides this I'm rather interested. :3

I like this.
Uh, there's a few grammatical errors in chapter four, but besides this I'm rather interested. :3

Haha! Thanks. I made the correction.

i like it

heart stomach fluttered

thats from chapter twoVirginia
sorta makes no since

heart stomach fluttered

thats from chapter twoVirginia
sorta makes no since

I love this. I'd love pictures too but other than that, it's great :)

The chapters a too short even for me. Nothing really happens in them. For some unknown reason I'm subcribing.
I like the way it's written with her decripting what she exscepted the people to be like.

First comment:) I really like this. Please continue this. Definitely. Loyal reader, commenter, and subber:) Update soon please