Envy - Comments

Like Dr. said, this was brilliant.
The way you described the scenery at the club was amazing. I felt the tension and the atmosphere of the place. And how you referred to the other girl as Envy. It seemed to add even more tension to the moment. And the ending, just, wow. I feel bad for Fawn, she hadn't even done anything.

Overall, you're an amazing writer, and this was an amazing piece.

great job - really good one shot good luck in the contest :)

That's awesome. I think the name Fawn really undertones her childishness and absent-mindedness.

Brilliant work. <3

Dr.

It's really good. You did a great job on it =)