The Scarecrow - Comments

Oh bby ;D

So proud you're my friend. Damn you're a fucking good writer.<3

Yay, it's back!! Can't wait for more

Oops I meant stars* not starts xP stupid ipod

This is so...mind blowing! Why the fraction(insider with teacher xD) does this story not have ten starts? What is wrong with these people? Really out of all of those 'great writers', they don't come and check your story out? The Scarecrow needs to get to them :)

Update? This is truly amazing.

O.O

Your first chapter was torture woman! You kept asking me if I wanted to know about The Scarecrow and I'm like, YUS GODDAMMIT. You kept me at the edge of my seat the whole time. There was something about it that made me read fast. And the mood of this was dark, however it had some light dark humor. I loved the start of this. I will be subbing.

The Scarecrow clutched it's stomach and walked briskly inside.
The heat flew past the Scarecrow and it had realized that it was freezing outside.
The Scarecrow walked through the aisles, enjoying the heat.
Grabbing a basket, the Scarecrow picked up some non-perishable food items.
The super-market was very nearly empty. Only a few people scattered here and there. There were only about two cashiers.
One on their iPod, immersed in some sort of game, the other half-asleep on their little stool.
The Scarecrow shook it's head, and continued it's shopping.
After grabbing a large gallon of water it walked toward the exit doors.
They opened with a quiet ''Whoosh' of freezing cold air.
The Scarecrow didn't look back to see if there were people frantically shouting because some teenager had just walked out with a basket full of unpaid-for food. Because the Scarecrow didn't care.

That whole thing could have been one, nice flowing paragraph -- possibly even two. That's really the only thing that bothers me is that you break the paragraph after each sentence. It's in a poem - like format, but it's a story. I mean, I'm not sure how you want it to be, but I think it would be best if you describe a little more you know? What does The Scarecrow -- by the way, you tend to change how you write it's name. Either both "the" and "scarecrow" should be capitalized or don't capitalize "the" and refer to it only as Scarecrow -- anyway, what does it feel like? Sad, angry, intrigued? Is it hot? Cold? Windy? Snowing? Is it night or day? What are they wearing? All of these suggestions are merely to help you improve your writing. Adding description tends to give you more readers :)

I for one am enjoying the mystery to your story. I will be subscribing to see where this goes, but if you fix up the things I told you up in the extremely long paragraph above this one, I think you'll be off to a great start in becoming a fantasmical mystery writer! Maybe even the next Steven King ;)

This is interesting-I don't think I've ever read anything else like it on Mibba. The reason why I like it is because it's like I'm a cop reading a suspect's diary, or the diary of the accomplice.
Nice, original work. :D

I like your writting, it keeps me at the edge of my seat as i wonder whats going to happen. Also your words go together so well sometimes I feel like I'm reading a poem or something. One thing I kind of dislike the short sentences, its a small thing but that's just me. Personally the sentences fit the way they are because you ake your statement and get out. Like it, *sub*

Absolutely amazing in everyway.
Subscribing.

ooh, still got me waiting for more xD

I love this story so much! It's so intriguing (is that how you spell it?!) xP anyways, keep up the good work!