Mystery Boy - Comments

I love the tone of this, and I think personally you did fine with the setting (I'm an American, so I don't know how much that's worth, but it all sounded right to me.) Your descriptions of characters and setting were all spot on; I could picture it all so perfectly. I loved the twist at the end of it. That moment when he opened the note and it said took you long enough just made me grin like a loon.
I spotted one thing that I thought might need fixing:
I might go off an do something worthwhile, like I always dreamed of doing.
-"an" needs to be "and" unless it's the vernacular of the character in which case you need an apostrophe after the letter n like so "an' "

Well, anywho, nice work. Cheers. :)

The layout was great. I really liked this story. It made me smile. It was so cute.

I love your descriptions. I could totally picture everything in the story.

Mmmm, I liked this (:
The mystery and the knowing all at the same time. Such complicatedness I guess?
Hah.
Anyway, it's really good.

I sort of wish there was another cahpter but at the same time I don't want there to be. It's soooo good!
Gah, okay.
Thanks for telling me about it :)

I SEE MATT AND DOM IN THAT BANNER THURRRRRR.

This was wonderful. Now, see, this was me all set to read it as if it was Matt and Dom, and what do I spy but blurry!Dom right there. So, "hola, Dom!" said I, and then with a gasp I noticed that Matt too was in that banner. I read and I read and I was all like, "This is such a Belldom!"

And then it was. And I had a little cry of joy.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the world who writes Belldom. But then I find wonderfully-written, absolutely perfect surprises like this and I realise I'm not alone after all. <3

I really like this. You did a great job and I could almost picture the conversations and everything.

I never read slash, so when I seen that it was a slash, I was a bit disappointed, but I read it anyways and I really loved it .

The plot was amazing and the layout was really nice. There were really no flaws that I noticed.

I would love if you wrote a sequel to this, as I was highly disappointed when it was over.

Xxoo,
Bridgette

I think you did a good job with the British slang. I wouldn't know, but it sounded right, haha.

The plot was nice, and the title fit well. I liked the layout, too.

Good content.

Goob job. xD

Good layout!
This was very cute; a neat little plot that tied together nicely. I loved the personality you imbued the first guy with, in the beginning paragraphs. It was a nice touch :)

This was probably one of the cuter slash pieces I have ever read. You captured everything with elegant details, and you portrayed emotions effortlessly. It was almost as if I were the boy headed to college, or maybe just a white rabbit hidden amongst the snow. I really can't get over your imagery and how well you've told this story. It was beautifully done.

I liked the banner, which was random. But anyway, the story was pretty good. I like the way you write. Not too simple, not too detailed. The main character also seems pretty interesting. All in all, good job. :D <3

So, the layout; amazing. It's gorgeous on so many levels. Chapter one; epic. I found a few punctuation and wording mistakes, but other than that, I really like it and where this story's heading. I don't usually read OF slash but this is pretty interesting. I like the main character and how you start this story off, though the alarm clock going waking someone up is a cliche way to begin. The only thing I don't like is the summary - there isn't a summary. Only you complaining and censoring the word fuck. XD I say, if you don't say it, don't use it, and I hope you can see why a paragraph of complaining is a bit of a turn off. But apart from that, very good.<3

I loved the layout. It was very well made, and was in no way at all distracting.

This was really well written! I "awwed' at the end when he finally talked to his mystery boy. It really made my heart melt!! Again, this is just too cute!!

The only thing I found, though was this:

they sun would make a brief appearance, as if to remind us of it’s existence; and then leave.

You used they, and I think you may have meant the.

Anyway, good job!!