Like A Firing Line - Comments

I love the idea of the drabble, because it's so true. It's raw, yet true. I think everyone who has experienced finals can relate. Hello, minimum wage job. was a perfect line as well, so great job on that.

However, some concrit; The layout is really awkward. Not just the background picture, which I can understand and look away from, but the colors. I had to click custom layout, because the colors don't really match up and it did make it harder to read.
Also the way you made new lines randomly (though I'm sure to you it's not) disrupted the flow completely in some spots. I mean, I think I get why you did it, but it doesn't work in my opinion. Not in this piece, not written like this. Not matched with the layout either.

But like I said, the general idea is really good.

"Is it the boy who chose to spend his Thanksgiving break with family and football?
Is it the girl who spent her time planning for Black Friday?
Is it the boy who chose to get more than four hours of sleep?
Is it the girl who spent her time writing, instead of studying?"

That's such a wonderful observation, finals are always at the worst time of the year. I love good satire, and this definitely fits that. The tone you used almost reminds of the short story "The Lottery," if you've heard of it.

THIS IS SO TRUE. <3 I love this because of that. Like, everyone else has said, the whole comparison of finals and a firing line is just so true. That's all I can think of to say at the moment.

Hello, minimum wage job.
Because that’s what they tell us. They tell us that all that matters is this. That collegeswill see these grades, and if you get less than an A…
I absolutely hate it when teachers would tell us that. It's like, "OH, YOU GOT A B? YEAH, WELL YOU'RE LIFE'S GONNA SUCK NOW. JUST SO YOU KNOW. NBD." Anyway, I just really like the flow of this story, and how you relate bad grades to being the equivalent of death because that's how most teachers portray it. This was very well-written. Critiques? I don't know. Oh, yes, and the last line. My fave. Overall, this was very good. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm sorry about the length. And the "I can;t stay on track" parts. Keep up the good work. :)

I really enjoyed the Monopoly thing, probably more then I should have.

I think there's some weird spacing going on? It makes the story a little hard to understand.

It's a really interesting comparison, school to war? What's more interesting is that you started your one-shot with the word 'and'. It's just different.

I can't quite figure out why they're lined up like that, having a teacher glare at them. It doesn't make sense to me.

But just lovely all the same. :)

I love this. <3 It's totally and completely true.
The comparison between finals and a firing line is very creative; I love how you extended the comparison throughout the whole piece.
Gosh, I just keep smiling 'cause this is so true, and you write so well. :)

And people are jumping up and down, high fiving, and dancing all around their graves.
Taken out of context, this sentence is so morbid. I love it, though.

Wow, I've never read anything like this before, and I absolutely loved it! It was so brutally true, or at least I know that's how I feel during finals week. The ending line was so well put, and I even giggled a bit, because it really does sound like something a teacher would say.

This was absolutely excellent (:

Is it the boy who chose to get more than four hours of sleep?
I agree with this kid. Fer sure.<3

Is it the girl who spent her time writing, instead of studying?[/i[
Can definitely relate right here aha. xD<3

And yes, there will be a quiz on this.
Very, very epic ending line if I do say so.(:

This was pretty gosh darn amazing if I do say so. <3
It was relatable, yet simple, and I loved the rhytm you had going.
Though it seems so obvious, I doubt many people would ever have compared school to a firing line. That's very very unique and brilliant. :D

I really liked this piece. (:
And the little Monopoly police man was cute. :D

I haven't seen something like this done before and it's very relatable. I also really enjoyed the writing style.

I enjoy the concept of this. You did really well with writing it!
It really paints the pictures in your mind.
The only thing I did not really like was the layout. The colors were... awkward. It was difficult to read on this layout. I'd suggest changing all words to white or a light gray?
Nice story :)
I hate finals too D;

It explains teachers very finely in my eyes. Everything seems just about right, my teahcers would blow the smoke off her pen if she could. Knowing we'd failed. Good work :D

I realy do like this layout, but the "Go To Jail" from the monopoly board thing makes it not as good (not trying to be rude at all!)

I like this, I can tell you're talkign about a teacher, or multiple ones. Wow, you have no idea how much I like this. It explains the whole concept of big tests, and it explains how each student works. I really like the whole analogy of a firing line because it defenitly makes sense. I really like the ending too, haha :). I like this hwole thing, it's wonderful! I truly loved it.

I really adore the concept of finals week and a firing line. Very riveting, very interesting. :) I don't really have much more to say to this and I feel terrible for not being able to say more. But you're a fantastic author my dear.

Grr...damn typos

This was a very intresting way to look at school/tests.
I really liked this. The whole monoply thing made me giggle a bit.
I really liked who you phrased some things. very unique.
I think this is one of my favorites on Mibba.

I love how you compared finals to a firing line. It was possibly the best comparison; you explained how they are alike so perfectly. I like how the teachers were seen as really scary people, just wanting to fail you. Another thing that I liked was how you put in the students emotions throughout the drabble. And the last line, it was probably my favorite line; it made me a little worried about my final week. This was wonderful.

I liked the summary line. It sounded like a line out of a song, to me at least. Maybe the music I listen to anyway. The whole thing read that way and I loved it. Basically, I thought the summary was intriguing and clever.

I thought the whole thing had a very unique feel and it was a great subject to write about. Everyone hates finals week and I think the reader can really feel that pressure that the teachers do put on to get As or it will ruin your future. Great job.

The last line was fabulous. Absolutely fabulous. This is one of my favourite pieces on Mibba and I'm very glad you told me about it. I hope you continue to write more stories like this.

The concept behind this is great, and I love how you linked a firing line with final exams. It's a rather interesting way to see it. Some of the description, to me, sounded off and funny, and some of the ellipses could be omitted. Also, I do believe that certain paragraphs didn't need to be split in half, if that makes any sense. Just some mild editing, and I can see this is as a brilliant drabble - even more than it is now. :']

Hmm...
I like this. I really do.
It seems rather ineloquent, for something like this. You attempted a harshly artistic view of finals, but I think you missed the mark.

I like the concept, I just think it needs some tweaking, in terms of language. The pluralization of a bunch of nouns makes it clumsy as well.

Sorry if this is really negative... I like it, I do! It's a great concept, but I think you should smidge your language.