Flat - Comments

I'm not all too fond about the layout because it didn't really give me a feel about this story. But the waterdrops did look pretty. :D

MOVING ON.

I really did love this. Seriously, how you get these ideas I have no freaking clue because I adored this piece. It gives me a whole new meaning about the word,"Flat". I've felt flat before and I don't like feeling that way.

But as it got towards the end, the spacing seemed a bit off. I don't know if that was s mistake or something but it sort of drives the attention of the reader more to the spacing and not the actual story, ya know? :\ But nonetheless this was beautiful <3

comment:bravo

Pale and lifeless, reaching up and tugging at those who are effortlessly 3-D (What is it, that they have? Is it that elusive thing, termed self confidence?)
- The period in this sentence is completely missing, it sort of leaves it hanging, even with the parenthesis.

You fight against the demons who make you flat
- Again, a forgotten period.

Will today be the day you smile for yourself, and know you’re beautiful without having to ask
someone else?
- Random new line, I'm not sure if it's intentional or not but it didn't really have any effect on me except disrupting the flow. x]

I like the concept of this drabble as well, it's interesting, definitely. I feel that it got a bit repetetive at the end, but that might be your intention so I'm not going to dig too deep into that. I like the way you use the words, but at some points the linebreaks and paragraphs become too much.

Oh my <3

Definately most inspiring thing I ever read. Your last 4 lines were my favourite lines. It was just beautiful :)

Self confidence…is a state of being. – I liked the last sentence. I liked how the whole story was centered on this. I think everyone should have self confidence, and no one should tell them how to act.

I love this whole concept, and I’m very glad I read this.

This is a very interesting concept, kind of inspirational, especially with the last line. I love how you worded it, everything just works out so well. Great job :D

This was adorable, inspirational. First off, love, love, LOVE the layout and the content of the story. I would suggest going over it just one or two more times, I saw one or two little things here and there, but nothing big :D You are a very good writer, that is obivous, and I love this story, the message that it holds. Again, great job! Love it, bravo!

At first when I was reading this, it literally took my breath away. Like, literally, I wasn't breathing. I was beginning to go in a state of mind where I think to much and stop breathing regularly because I was gettinf frightened at what you were getting at because I wasn't sure at first. Anyway, I got over this and continued on and understood what you were getting that. It was very inspirational to read this and it was definitely a creative idea.

This makes me realize that you should write for yourself and not for others because you need to have faith and love what you write before someone else can love it. The same goes with everything else.

Very well done. I loved it!!

Wow.
This is, as Leo Goatcaprio said, creative. So very creative. I love the way you opened it, as well. It pulled me in quickly and I just wanted to keep reading and never stop. Very inspirational. Amazing job.

I really, really liked this. All I can really think to say is that it was so creative. The idea was so abstract and you expressed it in a way I would never have thought.

You know, you really speak the truth (again.) You relayed a very strong message in this one-shot, and you did it beautifully.

Flat is just a restricted state of mind, after all.

Self confidence…is a state of being.
You have a talent not only with writing in general, but also with amazing last lines. <3

I feel flat all the time,
you put the words into my mouth (:
Great job, I hope to see more work like this.

First of all, sorry for the delay >.< Second, I always love your one-shots. They have amazing messages and meanings to them. However, I also agree with doves; about the formatting. It seems a bit wonky to me. Also, the layout doesn't match with the feel of the story. Maybe you can use a dark background and a light story area background? I don't think the bubbles really back :/ But overall, I really enjoyed this <3

I always find your one shots very interesting. They always have some sort of interesting meaning. But I do agree with doves about the way this is formatted. It looks weird just having sentence after sentence. But otherwise, very nice job. :)

This was a very one one-shot; it made me think. I enjoyed how it was written. It was written in a way that felt like it was directly to me, or the reader in general.

Although, I felt that in some places you spaced out some sentences that could have been in the same paragraph. I don't know if you intended it to be that way to make the piece more effective, but I thought it was a little distracting. But that is just me.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece.

Wonderful1 It's written almost... poetically. Worded at first to talk about themsellfs then you flip the switch to make the readers see it's just as much about us. It was a sad truth but still beautifully put... is that making sense? It shocked me into realality in a good way then kind of knocked me down. I liked it though it put me through a range of emotions throughout the entire piece.

I don't know if that's what you were trying to do but that's how I felt.

Someone can read this dozens of times and come out with a different thought of what you're trying to say.

Overall amazing.

This was gorgeously written, amazing work you have here. I know that feeling...tired of being put down and just wanting something positive said to me. It makes you seem desperate sometimes...

You can’t always rely on others to tell you that you’re special. That you’re beautiful, that you are important for something and someone. That someone would miss you.Sometimes your own word has to be enough.

Agreed. I get so sick of people who you try and tell them they're not crap, and they're just all "NO. NO. I AM. BUT KEEP TELLING ME I'M NOT." Asdfghhjkl. Tell yourself. >.>

This was actualy very inspirational and very blunt. It makes you kind of think from a different perspective and definitley see how accurate it is.

Good job, really. :D

This is, amazing.
It's kinda like slam poetry, not quite a story, but not quite a poem either.
I actually really really love this, and I intend to look into the rest of your work, because if this is anything to go by, you're an amazing writer.