Monster, Monster - Comments

Happy Halloween! Here's the fourth and final comment and recc!

I feel that this displays what happens in the minds of children that come from broken homes. I am actually glad that Lee killed his father because the justice system fails so many and when it comes to something such as abuse from a parent/guardian I couldn't hate anything more. The irony of the switchblade made this all the more perfect because of how Lee imagined the father at such a young age.

You're incredible at conveying emotion into a small amount of words and I will be reading more of your works after i get through more of my Halloween treats.

For such a short piece this was detailed enough and straigh to teh point. The way you went around of who the moster really was before Lee's eyes and the irony of his father dying by the switchblade he himself had given to Lee added to the piece. Well done!

-Marian.

Wow this is dark.. but so good at the same time

Wow...I am amazing and in aw of your ability to put so much emotion and such a strong story in so few words. I think that how short the story was only made it that much more intense for the reader. It was just all laid out there as if I was a child having this nightmare and realizing how real it was. You have an amazing talent and I will definitely read some of your other works.

I am actually out of words. This was so intense, and just great ... I can't even.

Thats creepy. But the good kind of creepy.
Youre a really, really good writer. Like. Amazing...

Love it....Short and straight to the point of the story :)

HOLY CHEESE!
This was incredibly powerful.
The switchblade...oh my.
You are fabulous

The ending was rushed...but...otherwise. Sh-t. I am awestruck. You did it; you left me speechless. Five of five Synclayre stars for that.

I wish you wrote more, it was too short of a short story for me, but everyone is different! But it wasn't bad! It was actually really good. I was expecting an actual monster but I like the twist you used.

This this was seriously really cold. Like, that's the vibe I get off of it. It's scary and it makes you think at the beginning. At first though, I'll admit I was convinced there were actual monsters.

The layout was a bit iffy for me, but other than that, I liked it.

I really, really liked this. Dark, mysterious from the first line in. At first I thought it was going to be...AHH FREDDYS GONNA GET YA. Cause of how you worded it and whatnot.. I didn't expect it to be the Father at all until I read it. Very awesome. Great job!

Wow.

Touching how much he loved his mother, but sad that he abused them. So sad, and sweet...

Oh Woah, this was creative, and amazing! I didn’t think the monster was his father, when you first described it standing over his mother. It’s sad, and invigorating.

I think the sentence with the monster standing over his mothers bed was my favorite because he was a little boy and he saw a monster instead of what the thing really was.

woah. Talk about intense.....that was really good! I liked the fact that you use the word "daddy" to show innocence in the boy, and I really liked the time sequince, it was slow enough that we understood but fast enough that the climax was breathtaking. Nicely done, I really like your writing, and your layout!!!

Wow. I thought, while looking at the layout and title for the first time, this would be a classic "Mommy, I see a monster under my bed type thing, but when I found out that it was better just blew me away. I like how you added a few lines of what the boy experienced throughout his life until it ended when he was seventeen. My favorite line out of the whole thing was the last line; it really gave this short story a good ending to it. I loved it!

Wow, this is amazing.
Creepy, yes. Still amazing, though.
I sort of expected the father to be the monster, but I wasn't expecting Lee to kill his dad!
The last line gave me chills.

That was... I mean.... Oh lord!
The ending wasn't expected. But I can't say I really blame Lee, I mean, maybe if I had been in that situation I might've done the same....

I loved it. From the layout to the story. Just amazing. I really felt for Lee, even though in the end.... but yeah, I loved it.

At first, I thought the 'monster' was him having some mental disease, but then I was like O.o "Oh no you dih-unt" towards the father
I like how simple you made this, even though it was short. The ending was awesome, I always enjoy revenge(:

Ohmygosh... This gave me goose bumps.
Very well done. And very original. (: