i like it but the grammar could use some MAJOR work!! if u want i can edit the ch's for you, :) just wanted to get that out there, other than that, i like it :D
I think it would be tons better if you went back and fixed all the grammatical mistakes. There's just so many of them and it could be off putting to the mojority of Mibba users. You could get more readers if you used good grammar
This is good. But I just feel like there could be more to it, like a longer chapter or even a couple more. Just to give the story some base...... But really good! (: