Survivor - Comments

You should totally update soon! -A

I feel so bad because of what happens to Emma. I can relate to some of the things. The only thing I'd change about the story, describing her feelings more. Other than that, hope to see an update soon. c:

I absolutely love this story. It's dramatic and over-the-top, but you didn't overdo it at all. I couldn't tear myself away from it. I have no choice but to absolutely recommend this story and subscribe to it. I absolutely freaking love this fantastic story! -A

In the first chapter I feel like if it's getting darker outside and Emma is walking home and hears footsteps she would at least look behind her. It is New York after all. Also since there are so many people living in New York and the two guys that raped her were strangers the possibility of going to the police might be higher then not doing anything. I for one would surely go there. I'm not really connecting with Emma though. Something for me is just missing. Maybe there needs to be more mention of her feelings--more description. But other then that the structure and writing is all there to make this story wonderful.

This is great so far. Emma is so real, and I feel sorry about what happens to her. I really want to read on. I must say that there needs to be some grammar corrections. I mean verb agreement, capitalization, and punctuation. This would be easy to fix if you spent a minute going through your chapters. I can't wait to see what happens.

This story seems pretty awesome so far. I like that you put a disclaimer in the summary page, so that people who aren't comfortable with reading those sorts of things will know that that's what this story is about.

You have decent grammar and sentence structure, but I did notice that you missed some punctuation and capitalization. :)

I love the way you're portraying Emma and showing how she handles the things that life throws her way. Keep up the good work!

love this story! more soon please :) it's very well written

I love this! For an addict, I agree. LOVE THE LAYOUT!

U say comments make u update quicker... Well consider this worth a gazillion comments... I love it :) more pleeeease

Okay so first off, the layout is very good. It isn't very distracting, and doesn't take away from the actual story.

I usually don't read this kind of stuff, because it really pisses me off, but this was very good. You write is good detail, and it's not overbearing. Everything that's happened to the main character is so sad; no one deserves to go through stuff like that.

Overall, this was a good read. Good job! :)

I want to start with some con-crit: I agree with Alexander, you have a lot of grammatical errors and tense shifts. You should reread and edit things mentioned in comments above and you used the wrong form of "there" and "their" at times. "Their" is possesive and "there" is a place, simple fix if you just remember that while writing. I also did not like the darkness of the background against the white text as it is very hard for me to read due to eye problems.
I don't want to be a negative Nancy, so now I'll tell you everything that I enjoyed. Your plot is nice, something I don't normally read, but interesting. I like how you jumped right into the swing of things, not wasting time on some unnecessary backstories. Keep writing. :)

I love the layout! Its awesome xx

I also dont usually read this type of story, but found it great!
Your writing style is excellent :D

KEEP GOING!!

I have to agree with Alexander. They were lots f grammar mistakes but nothing a small edit can't handle or you could hire a beta to help fix those mistakes (:
I do like what this plot is about though. I don't usually read stories containing rape.
I really wanted to smack Dana. You don't say that to your "friend". Its just rude and hurtful.
I do like what's to happen but do fix those mistakes(: It can steer readers away from this story.

This is the type of story I don't really read, but the chapters I read were really good. The first chapter made me feel really bad for the main character, even from the first few paragraphs I had a feeling something bad was going to happen.
I like where the story seems to be going. It's very interesting.

I also love the background of the layout. (:

Before I begin the inital review, I have a bit of con-crit. I found the font a little too big for my taste, making it distracting as well. I think if you made the font a bit smaller, then it would be so harsh-looking to read. Also, you have many grammar, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation errors; you're missing commas, periods, random words are capitalized, some words are spelled incorrectly, and some sentences don't make a whole lot of sense. Honestly, stuff like this would usually deter readers from reading this and giving you feedback on it, so I suggest getting a beta for assisting you with that. They'll help you with all of that. Anyways, I don't usually read rape stories because of the content and how awful and horrible it is afterwards. Your emotions are all there and at times, this was gut-wrenching to read. I do like Mrs. Stewarts. She's a breath of fresh air in all of this abuse that Emma goes through.
You've done a good job here; all this story needs is a bit of polishing! <3

I love it! Can't wait for more!

i love this but its so sad! waiting for more!!! :)

Love this can't wait for more

This was pretty good, but there were a few grammatical errors. This was really full of emotions, too. I'm happy that this was done tastefully as well. It was a nice read and it wasn't what I am used to as well. Good job. =D

This is a put-together concept, and there's nothing really wrong with your writing style. It's simple, but it gets the job done, and you devote enough time to description to get your setting and such fleshed out. There are just a few quick things you could fix about the structure of your dialogue that would make this a lot smoother.

For example:

“ Look Emma” Dana said angrily “ Stop denying it, Daisy and Michelle overheard you talking.”

“Dana! are you seriously going to believe those two Bitches over me!”

There are a few mistakes here. Firstly, there should be no space between the opening " and the first word of the dialogue. There should also be a comma after 'Emma' and a fullstop after 'angrily'. I'm not sure why 'Bitches' is capitalised?

You could also go over this once more for spelling/capitalisation errors. Two I picked up were 'manhattan' (should be Manhattan) and 'sweat heart' (sweetheart).

Overall, though, the only glaring mistakes in this are easy ones to fix. Your actual story is good, and your layout was very clear and easy to read.

Well done.