The Religious Experience - Comments

So thrilled to have an update! I feel as if I needed more detail. I felt as if the "bully" speaking was right. I believed Eden to be unnoticed, that no one even knew she existed. The bully adressing her seemed like Eden's expressions and motions were interjecting in their conversation.

Poor Eden!!! And -hee hee- DEREK AND EDEN SITTING IN A TREE!!! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!!!!

--sorry that had to be done...

I loved it! It had a nice flow about it. It felt chilling, erie. I felt like I was only getting a glimpse of Eden's true feelings towards her Mother. Hopefully more can be revealed!

I think there's something good brewing here. More!

Aww this is so cool!! And now I have a new way of looking at candels!!

I thought that the revised chapter was great! I loved the details. The third chapter was "odd." I loved the concept though.

I think you could have an amazing story on your hands. Still staying subbed!

This was really good!! Angel Abortions? Uhm....yeah....Update soon?!?!

I think the idea is there and that this story could be presented well.

The chapters seemed all over the place with no organization whatsoever. Too much information was presented in too short chapters.

It was really awkward with all the interjections and didn't read smoothly. The presentation of Calvinism was really chopping and way too sudden.

In the second chapter there was a lot of capitalization that after awhile became annoying. Exclamation points were used too much too.

I found that paragraph structure was a tad loose and that there weren’t many details yet I would like to keep my eye on this story.

The story could use some cleaning up and attention to proper grammar. I’d like to see y’all fix it and continue on. I think this could be potentially be beautiful.

This is reallllly good!!! Update soon??

And STORY CLAIM!! (story claim instead of page claim 'cuz I steal it's virginity, I claim it ;] )