Great story overall, but I believe you would be better off using past tense. Present tense does not have the greatest ability to show a character's emotion. It's just like a string of events that have no meaning. There are a few stories work well written in present tense but I do not believe that this one does. Those stories are brief moments in time with no "before" or "after." Just a suggestion that might make your story flow a bit better. :)
FUCK YEA!!!! He finally said I love you and she loves him too!! I think the timing was perfect during a nice evening walk with Bella was too cute I loved it! =). The baby shower was awesome and im glad that Mar was able to get along with all the girls since she's going to be around for awhile lol. While things are going good the paparazzi now I dont think it will stay that way I have a really bad feeling that something will come up and affect Mar and Matt =( I really hope not. Awesome update love! =)
This chapter was awesome! Its cool to see the guys let loose and just have fun =D. Matt and Mar are just so freaking perfect for each other! I love how their personalities mess and how Mar handled the paparazzi just shows that she is ready to deal with all the crazy bull that occurs with the guys and stick by Matt's side =)
I damn near teared up a few time reading this, I love how you portrayed the guys interaction with the cancer patients. especially when Kyle saw met Jimmy and when Alli sung with Matt and her dad I thought that was just the sweetest moment ever =)
Matt and Mar are too cute lol I just love those two and Matt's being all bad ass and rapping, that was cute and hot lol. those two have a very natural relationship they dont even have to try to impress each other they just are and I like that they are so comfortable with each other =)
I cant get enough of your writing hun, each chapter just gets better and better <3 =)
Love this chapter omg it was sooo heart felt I just love it.... Matt rappin was hilarious to me becuz I never thought tht he would start rappin so yea.....can't wait to read more update as soon as u can :)
I fuckin love them both Matt is a assertive but he can be dominant when he wants but wit Shadows he soo fuckin aggressive I just fuckin love it any sex scene tht has either Matt or Shadows in it I'm goin to lose my mind in ecstasy becuz I will fuckin melt.....damn Mar is a lucky bitch lol.......but I like the realtionship tht Matt nd Mar has where even those was scared out of her mind but she saw the comfort in Matt once he spoke even tho he was still in character he was playin the sensitive role fr a second to acknowledge tht she was goin to be ok thn he went bck to being the badass love it.....can't wait to read more update as soon as u can :)
The line worked perfect! I love how you incorporated it in, Thanks Corra! =)
I freaking love the guys, they had me cracking up lol
Im like seriously blushing hella hard right now lol, fuck that scene was hot. I love how you had Mar think it was Matt but then realize she was 'wrong' and was actually scared, Im pretty sure that made it even hotter for Matt lol. And it was amazing how you had him show concern with out him breaking character, I think in a way it showed how close he and Mar are that they dont even have to speak to communicate if that makes sense lol. But yea that was some amazing smut and I agree that this is your best chapter yet from beginning to end! =)
Now excuse me while I go take an ice cold shower LOL! AMAZING update sweetie! =D
This was a brilliant chapter! I loved the smut of course and it was just amazing!! Matt is just so sexy XD I also loved how playful everyone was in this chapter! Loved this update can't wait for more <3