The Chronicles of Andrainea: Darkness Falls - Comments

I'm glad I found this story! It's soo juicy! I'm dying to know what the doctor really is and what's his plan with all his experiments!

I've read the first chapter and it's fantastic. The tone you use for you MC is really realistic but be careful not to miss out on describing the people or places in as much detail as you do their characters (hope that made sense)

I'm so in love with sci fi it's maddening..
Pleaseee keep this story going.
There's so many things you can do with the plot and I can't wait to see where you go with it!
Subscribed(:

Oh my. This was a truly interesting beginning! I absolutely love the descriptions that you use; you make Andrainea seem really believable. She's a normal girl with not-so-normal problems like any other person. However, those guys are so damn...creepy. I honestly can't think of any other words to describe them. They just come out of nowhere and take her to wherever? o.O Like Roseh; boheme said, the words that stood out the most to me are twisted magic; it makes me wonder what's really going on here.
Anyways, you've done a lovely job with this (: <3

creepy....

Woo! Comment virginity about to be taken!

I really enjoyed this.

I love your description. It's very honest, open and to-the-point, making Andrainea a very believable and relatable character for the reader. You feel very sympathetic towards her. I particularly like the contrast between the very normal opening and the twisted, sinister end. It was very interesting, and I became hooked from that point onward. However, you also use some lovely noun phrases; the one which stood out to me was twisted magic. I really liked the oxymoron it seems to create and how it taints the reader's view of The Doctor.

You clearly know your narrator very well. You write her with conviction and assurity, and this makes her totally convincing for the reader. I'm looking forward to you developing her character even further...

It's fantastic!