This is a great story. Great character development with Naomi. I can totally see Fred chickening out. Just one word of advice, maybe you could seperate the paragraphs. It's kind of jumbled. But do what you will, it's only a suggestion. Keep up the good work, can't wait to read more =]
First comment! <3 I like this story! It's really good. If you ever need a girlfriend for Fred, lol, I'm your girl! :D Just letting you know ;) <3 Update soon.