I liked it. It is kinda funny that Kendall uses Camille to make Jo jealous but very good.
July 14th, 2011 at 07:55pm
Story Review Game: I'm reviewing this and its prequel, since it makes a bit more sense to me that way. Not that it can't stand alone, but you made a story that I wanted to read.
'Kay, so my opinion of Jo has changed from her being rather sweet and chill seeming to quite the bitch. Breaking up via text is ridiculously insensitive and hurtful. I hate how I can read the pure pain that Kendall is feeling right there, how he just wants everything else to go wrong like it already seems to be.
The only thing I've noted so far is that you've mentioned his name is Kendall Knight twice within three paragraphs; its not really nescessary since we know his name already.
Anyways, going onto Jo's sort of betrayal, it's very realistic how broken up over this break up (no pun intended) he is. He's not believing love it real anymore there, which makes sense, and all he wants to do is forget about things and chill and not think. It pulls a reaction of sympathy from me and I want to see him feel better and smile.
His little thought!conversation is like, beyond adorable. The profane remark kind of makes you giggle even though it's a seriously upsetting time, and provides a touch of comic relief.
The anger that works through this oneshot is absolutely brilliant. You can feel the blood coursing through your veins and the sort of overpowering nature to feel sympathy for Kendall, which really makes me grin about the story; it's hard to do that sometimes. His love for his mother is so cute, something I wish my brother had for our mum.
James seems to be a strong character. Just how forward and confident and true he seems makes you sort of realize why he and Kendall are friends; they compliment each other. (Please, bear in mind I've never in my life seen an episode of BTR, so I have no clue how these guys are friends or any of that such.)
How his mind wanders to Jo makes sense, for he probably wants to impress her and make her feel like shit for dumping him when she sees what a great time he's having with his friends, y'know?
Each person's leaving sets the stage for a new scene wonderfully, and it makes me wonder who Camille is and how they knew each other. I like how they both seem to be entirely upset and like they each need a friend, but I have to admit that Kendall's version of getting back at Jo is a bit brude. He's probably going to get Camille upset since she'll be something of a bounceback, but I love how she just seems to understand.
I love the line at the end, how it just seems to sum up the entire story. It's absolutely brilliant.
