July 26th, 2011 at 11:23am
This story is absolutely beautiful. Your writing is just so poetic and entrancing that 600 words didn't really feel like enough. The starting paragraph was one of the best things I've ever read; I could relate to how he saw things. The more I think about what you wrote, the more I think that it's something everybody feels inside of them. It's very perceptive that you can write society's emotions like that.
The characters are so cute. I know that that's a really demeaning word, but in all seriousness they really are. This is the one slash that I've read that I've actually liked, and that says a lot about your writing. The whole thing made me smile, and I hardly know why. You're a wonderful writer. ^ __ ^
The only mistake that I found was this: He's not sure if it's a noise of assent or maybe just being comfortable or possibly being in love with the boy who sings it's words. It should be its after sings. One mistake is really good, though (:
I'm glad that I read this. It's almost like looking into a dream, and it's a really beautiful thing to read. Great job :3
This is amazing. =D