White Washed Walls - Comments

<3 <3 Its so sad... :(

*Sniff. Sniff*

I love the way she's so opptamistic...so sure that she's gonna get better.

The way you crafted this... my word. It tugged at my heartstrings. It's so real, so heartfelt. It really does capture that beautiful childhood naivety, and play on emotions everyone feels and recognizes.

We're going to live forever.
It's painful, knowing what's going on, and hearing her wish their problems away with such a small statement. It's beautiful, thank you.

This was beautiful = )
Amazing.
Unforgettable.

Oh dear. This was beautiful.
I loved the past and present switch, providing little snippets of their lives together.
100% honest opinion? This was amazing and it shows that you can be an entertaining writer as well as a heartfelt one which it a hard thing for most writers to accomplish. (Trust me on that one :] )

Bravo.
<3

Your piece was very well crafted. The bi-focal narrating, between past and present, really developed the relationship between your characters better than any summary from the character could've done. It was a wonderful example of how to show and not tell the reader what they need to know.

The writing also proved to be quite emotional as well. It was easy to sympathize with your main character because most everyone has been to the hospital and seen someone they loved hurt or dying. Perhaps the most emotional part about the piece however is the pain of your characters despite their youth.

One thing I would consider would be developing your characters by including more information and details. While the story nicely focused on the relationship between your two characters, it would've been nice for the story to include at least references to other characters to show just how her sickness affects life outside the hospital as well.

Best of Luck and Happy Holidays!
Sobriquets

Wow... Deep man... This is really good... Like honestly... And I love the song choice... And the flashback parts are cute... This is amazing best friend... And I like this writing style... You do it very well my friend!