Girl. - Comments

This was creepy. That little girl, oh my. In the back of my mind when that woman went into that room and shut the door behind her, I was like ' I wouldn't do that if I was you. Something bad is going to happen!' And behold, she got her ear tore off and the crazy girl was eatting her skin. And she choked on her own bile? Oh shit, that's awesome. (I'm a sick person, I knowXD) This was good, and I fucking love it! :D

Amazing, thats the only word I can think of that sums up this story and yet I wish there was a better word...Thank you sooo much for recommending this too me.l loved the characters especially the crazy patient and your use of words is amazing...Perfect imagery :) Thanks again....

I like this story! I really love the banner, too!
The second the woman decided the girl was safe I just felt this sense of foreboding...
Tsk. Silly woman, never underestamate colour changing eyes and a burst of adrenaline!

Ah, insanity. The one thing that all humans seem afraid of.

"Daddy always loved me..." Oh, why do I get the feeling that means... Maybe I'm wrong. :(

Ooh! The skin being ripped/peeled off, choking on vomit, eating people... >:D
Holy f*ck this is AWESOME!!! (...there's something wrong with me... -_-)
Kinda reminds me of the vampire stories I have half written all over the place, what with the eating skin (except they'd probably eat flesh too... eh, enough about my stories. Back to the awesome gore-ness!!! >:D)

On the grammatical side, at the beginning of the story your sentences are innesecarilly long. Try shortening them or altering the descriptions a little, like:
"The light flickered as the woman walked slowly down the corridor, her eyes were darting around nervously.* The heels of her shoes echoed around her, the sound grating on her already drawn out nerves.**"

*We already gathered she's nervous from her eyes flickering around, so saying "like" or "as though" is needless.

**"making her more jumpy" doesn't sound quite right, it's more difficult to read.

Also, the term "girl" is a bit... confusing if she's a woman acting like a child. I kept picturing her as a demented ten-year old... But perhaps that's just me. I'm terrified of kids... ¬¬ The little creeps...

Either way: This. Story. ROCKS. >:D

The banner was great and really suiting to the story.

The beginning, was good, it set up the story very well. I'd have to say that I found it confusing. There were too many she's being tossed around, a long with woman and girl. I would have referred to at least one of them by name when the two were contained in a sentence.

I realize the twenty two year old was childlike, but I don't like her being called girl it wasn't very suiting.

It was a great horror story and really well done.
Nice idea! :)

Your details and descriptions are overly lovely. This was also very spooky and creepy, but then again, that just makes the whole story better. I have no idea why, but little girls that seem harmless in stories or movies like these scare the shit out of me. This was amazing and terrifying at the same time. Great job, really <3

First thing I'll say is I love the layout. The dark blue with the banner set the tone for the story very well. Not to mention the picture gave me the creeps.
Also my apologizes for not judging this earlier.
Wow, you wrote an amaazing story.. it was wonderful to read and I love how you described the girls confusion when she saw it was just a little girl who had done the brutal murders.
It was chilling to the bone but I deeply enjoyed it. I loved you writing style and the way that you conveyed there emotions was awesome.
Thank you so much for your entry :)

Can you please write another story like this,?
It was very good, and it had that spooky edge as well.
Thumbs up. :]

Wow. That was spooky!