Make Me a Miracle - Comments

I "awwwwww"'d at least five times over the course of this story. It was really, really fantastic.

Your stories, from what I've read, are wonderful.

xogabbiesaurus

Wow. I have no words at all. This story = amazingly awesomely cooly FANTASTIC. I've never read a Ryden, actually, I'm not sure who they are? But I've heard of them. Anyways. This story was so adorable. I loved how you went from different perspectives every so often.

Great story! :)

Oh wow. You know I've read slash before but never really liked it. Everyone's seemed to just have them fuck. But you put some real love in it. I really enjoyed it. Now, onto the sequel. =)

Story Review Game!
Layout
Very and Simple and clean, can't go wrong there.
I especially like the image/text used on the banner. I do almost feel like there is a little too much white though.

Story
The letters make a nice introduction. I liked the last line of Brendon's letter, because that's so stereotypical of little kids to end with something not about them so Santa won't think they're greedy, and this is just a more adult take, with issues like world peace and gay marriage.

The cutesy little santa letters completely juxtapose against the heavy shit that comes after them, when Ryan is pretty much contemplating why his life is far from what he wants. I like the narrative little interjections you (the parentheses and "though..." type deals). It's quirkier than just a straight, droning narrative.

"Brendon wasn't peeling apples anymore. He didn't want to be angry. He hated being angry. Especially with his mom and at Christmas and when she didn't mean to. But did she really think he was trying not to get over it? He'd tried everything to get over it. Maybe."

I like the maybe at the end of this paragraph. Kind of makes me think he's deflecting his anger at the wrong person.

"Seventy-two miles away, Brendon was watching the nieces and nephews and cousins open their Christmas Even present before they left for a service at the temple."
Eve?

I feel like I'm watching a movie rather than reading a story with this; some sort of dramatic love story where you know everything has the potential to go completely wrong, and you're just hoping it will all be ok.

"It was an hour and a half, maybe a little over, when the doorbell rang. Brendon had a deviled egg in his hand,"
I don't know why, but that kind of made me laugh, it was such an oddly specific detail to include. Like I said, it's like I'm watching this almost rather than reading.

I think their reunion dialog is great, it's not some unrealistic soliloquy sounding bullshit, it's just raw and real. I feel like Brendon could say more though, maybe be a little more resistant? I also thought describing them as the older/younger boy seemed a little off. I'd probably pick a different distinguishing detail, something more vivid than age.

I was a little iffy claiming this because I don't read much fan fiction, but I think this story is a good example of why it's incorrect to judge fanfiction as uncreative or second rate work. You clearly have your own, unique ideas to build on.

This was absolutely wonderful. I loved every moment of it. Everything was just so real and chaotic and lost, but you somehow brought it together beautifully. Everything just fit so well. The both of them wanting to smoke pot to settle thier nerves was great and the way Ryan had his meeting with Brendon perfectly planned and then it turned out so differently than what he had hoped. It was so refreshing to see a moment like this, one so lovely, in stuttered curse words. It wasn't overdone and just conveyed all the raw emotions that some authors may have forgotten about.

You're easily my favourite writer on Mibba. Great job!

And the minute Grace Urie realized what was going on, she started to cry harder than either of the boys had. That line is absolutely beautiful.

Wonderfully heartbreaking. It made me smile, so thank you. :)

Outstandingly heartbreaking. Then, satisfyingly heart-mending. Lovely (:

I'd be honest that while I was reading this I was hoping that something like this will happen this Christmas.
Thank you for writing this. It's about time I read another beautiful Ryden ff. :')

Adorable, honestly. This made me get all teary-eyed and nostalgic. I could honestly imagine something like this happening - only not really, because the real world isn't that great. Still. It'd be nice. This was just... gah. It made me so happy. It's kind of impossible not to smile towards the end of it.

<3

A Ryden Christmas story.
Just something to maybe make Ryden fans a little happy this year.
Merry Christmas Mibba!

Comments are love!

xoxox
-Dru