January 14th, 2011 at 09:28pm
A7X Slash Contest Comment
layout; it's kind of random and the colors don't match but it's easy to read so I have no real complaints.
I would have put the first section before Matt's POV in the summary because it didn't really sound like the story.
At first he wasn't sure but when I told him there's. plenty of alcohol at my house he was game A random full stop in the middle there.
I really like the plot you have but it doesn't feel like a story so much as a report on what happened, it lacks emotion and detail. I thought the story was adorable and Johnny expecting a punch was cute. Matt's reaction was priceless and sweet & Johnny's bravery in giving Matt's horsecock a blowjob was funny. :L And the pervy little girl in the window was hilarious. :DD
^ That made me laugh.
Amazing one shot.