Speechless - Comments

Please continue this, this seems to be a great start for a story.

I really liked this a lot. I love how Embry wants someone that will treat him like he's normal, and when he gets that person, he's completely speechless and generally just like "wtf?!" It made it seem much more real that that's how he reacted to her. Had he immediately gone with it, it wouldn't have really made sense. After all, you're treated a certain way for so long, you get used to it and it takes a certain amount of time before you can just roll with a different way, even if it's how you wanted to be treated.

The last line in particular was my favorite- it shows that you really have a grasp on the concept that "speechless" and "mute" are two entirely different things, something that most people don't really understand.

The only thing that I didn't really like about this was how (in the note that he gave her) he told her his name, age, and that he was born that way. It seemed a bit awkward to me for some reason.

Regardless, you did a really good job, and I hope that you do continue it.

You should totally continue this!!! PLEASE?

I am judging for the contest :D
I actually have already read and commented on this before. But I read it again because it really is amazing. There are a few grammar mistakes but not many, and they can easily be fixed.
It'd be better as a longer story and if you do add more chapters, I'd definitely subscribe!
I think this is pretty unique too. The idea of it and especially the way that Embry wants someone to hate him, I just really like that. It's different to many other stories I've read.
And the last sentence was amazing. Seriously. If the whole short story was bad (which it wasn't!), that last line would probably make up for most of it. I liked it that much :L
Please check into the contest soon to see the winners!

I loved this! The whole thing had me just sitting here like I couldn't talk either. Haha

Awe, that was sooooo cute!
I love the name Embry, by the way.
It was definitely a cute idea for a one-shot, I've never read something like it before.
I loved how your words just flowed together perfectly, if that makes any sense.
And I love the very last sentence. It really got to me.
Great job, this was brilliant. :)

This was really interesting, seriously.
The whole aspect of Embry and his muteness, how he said he wanted someone to at least hate him, you know, not let him blag sympathy about not being able to talk, but then upon meeting with her, he's rendered speechless. That's really interesting, and quite unique how it was done.
The wording that you used and how you set it all, it really made it seem believable, in the sense that if someone couldn't talk like him, I could actually see something like that happening to him. Okay, that came out wrong, but you get me.
This was really good, honestly.

I'd love it if you did add more chapters
I love Embry's character, he's also got a great name
Its a very unique idea, honestly ive never read anything like it.
So cute, you already got me to love the main character <3
Which means you can create and portray characters very well, you also described his frustration and feelings extremely well!
I just love it, i do hope you'll carry on coz im subscribing :D
i LOVE it when i comment swap and find such a great story like yours

I really like this! It would be better as a longer story, but I love the story idea in this.

This was probably one of my favorites!
I love the way you described Embry and the girl and all their expressions.
I also loved how well put you wrote everything.
I think if you were to make this into a normal story, it'd turn out amazing. (:
All in all, this turned out to be extremely good.
Keep it up. :D

I loved this! I loved the ending the most. "He knew what it felt like to be speechless" is that it? But hopefully you know what I'm talking about. But anywaysss, it left an impression on me :)