The Walking Dead: Chicago - Comments

I'm not a big fan of the layout. not gonna lie.
I like The Walking Dead (the show), so I'm guessing you got the idea from there?

Anyway the story was really good. I LOVE Zombies. My profile is full of it. The only turn off is the fact that a lot of things were misspelled. Some words you forgot an extra letter, others aren't capitalized correctly. But aside from that I enjoyed it. I think she should turn on the trains...just saying.

I'm assuming this was inspired by AMC's The Walking Dead. Which is wonderful, because I love that show like you would not believe.

You had quite a few technical errors, and your sentence structure was slightly poor. I feel some parts didn't necessarily flow easily, and you could've used better word choice in some parts as well. You varied with your tenses, which also added to some confusion when reading your piece. Perhaps you should have someone peer edit your story before you post it, it would make everything so much better.

Despite those factors, it's a promising piece. Has so much potential, and you know exactly how to portray high-anxiety scenes. You know how to build suspense, and catch the reader off guard. So far, I like the feel of this, and I'm anxious to see how it's going to turn out.

To answer your questions, she should be running to a hospital to search for supplies. Heading to the trains would be incredibly unwise, especially if she were wanting to turn them on; too much noise, it would cause an uproar of walkers. Granted, the hospital may also be full of walkers, but at least there's rooms in there in which she could barricade herself if any happen to approach, or bombard her.

I'm interested to see where you take this story. =)

I like the picture on the side of the layout :)
I'm getting the feeling she's running away from something..
Gosh if I was in a situation like that, I'm not sure what I'd do
Like I'd probabaly just give myself up, maybe; maybe not haha
I notice you like the word fuck, you and me both xD haha
Oh jeez, the scratching noise thing is creepy me out
Aww the poor bird :( I would've like started crying if I saw that
I tihnk this is like a zombie story, that's what I"m getting out of it.
I'd say get supplies, because that's her best bet to get out of here.
the rest are unsafe, and could get her killed other than the relative thing maybe

This was kind of weird for me, to be honest. The wording wasn't very clear and it was just kind of spacey. Perhaps you could find a beta to help you. Anyway, the plot is pretty creative and this story has great potential, I can foresee it being successful with a little bit more work and editing. (: I'm assuming that this is about zombies. . haha, and I'll admit, zombies freak the fuck out of me. So this will be pretty interesting to read when you update again. Good luck and happy writing, doll. <3