Homepage › Stories › Tales From the Asylum › Comments

Tales From the Asylum - Comments

  • James Sullivan

    James Sullivan (150)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    ♀
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    United States
    Okay. Here we go. (You best feel loved Jenn - I never seriously comment unless i like the author)

    Anyway.
    This was well written. You have promise of talent. Just one thing, you need to spell check before you post.
    Now I know you'll probably hate me for saying it but yeah.

    As for the content itself? It has a really interesting theme. The purpose isn't to tell you who the person is, or why they're taking pills or seeing severed heads inthe bathtub - its about their reactions to the pills or the head.
    I like that.

    I also like the apathetic feel the stories have. It makes them even more weird and chilling than they already were. The fact that the character is just like "Oh hey. Severed head in my bathtub." made the story hilarious.

    In the pills one, maybe you could add in a bit about how the pills make the world around him seem. Pills always affect the senses in some way. If you don't want to thats cool (this is after all your story, I'm just making suggestions. :] ), but I think that descriptions of how the room spins, or the walls are technicolor, or of the demons that are appearing in the gloom wouldmake the one-shot a little more....personal.

    All in all though, I loved them.
    Brilliant job Jenn. :] :arms:
    March 24th, 2008 at 03:06pm
  • pretty hate machine.

    pretty hate machine. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    ♀
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    That's like...
    wow.

    Pills making us all loopy.
    March 24th, 2008 at 03:01am
  • xVampirexHeartx

    xVampirexHeartx (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    ♀
    Age:
    33
    Location:
    United States
    LOVED IT!!
    More...lol
    gotta read more.
    March 23rd, 2008 at 09:47pm
  • EverlastingHeartache

    EverlastingHeartache (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    ♀
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    errr..
    its awesome...but kinda randomly spaced out i didn't much inderstand the first one but i got the second..
    yay!
    March 23rd, 2008 at 09:44pm
  • Cough Syrup

    Cough Syrup (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    ♀
    Age:
    31
    Location:
    Great Britain (UK)
    I love this seriously its fucking awesome so much better than all the fanfics which annoy me
    March 23rd, 2008 at 09:42pm
  • xVampirexHeartx

    xVampirexHeartx (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    ♀
    Age:
    33
    Location:
    United States
    Love it!!..lol as i do all your stories. its random but hey random makes great. keep it truckin girl you might come out w/ other body parts around the house...^^
    February 16th, 2008 at 06:39pm
  • BlinkAdiseGothicThug

    BlinkAdiseGothicThug (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    ♀
    Age:
    43
    Location:
    United States
    I know more than three people read this.
    -claps-
    TALENT-TOE!
    LURKERS MUST COMMENT! NOW! OR I'LL KICK THEIR ASSES!
    This story is too br00tal to ignore.
    January 20th, 2008 at 06:56pm
  • pretty hate machine.

    pretty hate machine. (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    ♀
    Age:
    30
    Location:
    United States
    Oooohhh... I likes it. It's really spiffy.
    January 19th, 2008 at 06:08am
  • xFueledByRiotx

    xFueledByRiotx (100)

    :
    Member
    Gender:
    ♀
    Location:
    United States
    This is awesomely strange. ^_^
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:48am
Homepage › Stories › Tales From the Asylum › Comments