The Flesh and the Glass - Comments

i'm fascinated. this is truly intruiging ang you writing styles' are wonderful.

So, this story is much more different than anything I've ever read. I mean wow, the way you describe his teaching career is wonderful, although your paragraphs need a lot of work. I'm sorry but it's broken up in a funny way that I don't even think is allowed. Your layout is plain and a bit blinding due to all of the white space. It suits the story though -- I'm not saying that your story is plain, but that the white space just seems to fit it. I seriously love how Rodney's all straight up in his mind, I hate her God! I just laughed. So, the next chapter was confusing. It was sort of choppy and just I dunno, I wouldn't suggest using that style of writing because it's very confusing.

Your journal did not disappoint, this story is truly different than anything else I've ever read. I like your style, it's metaphorical and not bland. It kind of makes me want to brush up on my writing lol. I must agree with the people above me on the layout. While they layout is not what matters in a story, it makes it easier to read. Don't get me wrong though, you posted it to get comments on your work and that's what I'm going to focus on. This story is interesting, I'm going on to read chapter 2 after I finish this comment. I'm curious on a few things with this story, most likely they'll clear up as I continue reading though. Great start, keep going!

I think it's really good. I don't know what's going to happen next, but it makes me really anxious. I don't know where the idea for this came from, but I love it. It's unlike anything I've ever read before. The first chapter seemed like something out of an old textbook or something. It was great, and so detailed. I can't wait to read more.

For chapter one: wow now I know how teachers truely feel. Lmfao. Jk I like it but I don't understand the plot yet. Maybe I need to be patient. I do enjoy it. For chapter two: I think the time intervals are diffrent and a little helpful. I'm sorry for the generic comment. I'm sorry for the generic comments I'm commenting and read it from my cell phone. But I enjoy the story si far I like the diffrentness about it

First Glance: I kinda wish the layout wasn't all white; gives me a headache x.x but it might be my eyes. However, the title is interesting and the names of the first two chapters are cool. Let's start reading...

While Reading:
Chapter 1: I know people before me said this so far, but please space between paragraphs. Better on the eyes, again.
I'm very much pulled into this. In the point of view of a teacher? Quite different. Plus, I like the metaphor of the assembly line and the students being his/her "work".
Hahahaha! The fight between him and Jeanette made me laugh. "The little bastards." What a way of words (:

Chapter 2: At first glance, I like the times being stated. I don't know why, but it's cool.
It's also cool that it's almost like he's taking notes on everything. Actually, as I continue reading, it's almost like it's directions telling him what and what to do. Odd, but I love it.

Overall: This is very interesting and, just as promised, different than many stories I've read and seen on this site. Grammar and spelling was also wonderful, kudos for that (: I think the two of you will go far in this and I hope to see some updates in the future! :D

Whoa.
This is quite a strange story. It's not like anything else on Mibba, that's for definate.
I dont really like the layout, it was just far too plain, and while I dont mind centered text, in the first chapter, it kind of bugged me, because of how short every sentance was. If that makes sense to you.

I think it's quite an interesting story. I'm not al all sure what the story is about. >< (sorry if you had implied and I've missed it) But I like it. I like the description. I like everything about it. I much prefered the second chapter to the first, I've never read anything layed out like that. I liked it. I also love being inside the characters head. It intrigues me.

Excellent story. I shall have to subscribe. :)

The whole description about the shaping the children is so detailed. Not many people can think of something as meaningful as that. I don't really like the sound of this teacher. I guess they're just... not my kind of teacher xD
I personally didn't like the layout. It's really hard to read the writing because it's so small, and in my opinion it's a little bit plain and... white.
There were no mistakes, it was well written, I don't think there is anything wrong with the actual story.
I liked it.
Great job. =3

I like the way that the main character is described. It's a very interesting story that I do adore quite a bit already. It's really original. But the layout. . it's so. . bland. D: I love pretty layouts. And the no spaces between paragraphs, it irked my soul and I had to focus and keep reading but I almost lost focus because it was all squishy and together. But I do look forward to reading this. I want to know what the hell is going to happen!

Alright so I will first say that the layout is too simplistic. There is nothing to distract from the white and it kind o f drives me crazy. Some colors to break it up might help there. Also, there is no space between the paragraphs. That's one of the pet peeves of mine. But I have to say that I do like the characterization. I've only read the first chapter so far, but I'm wondering what you're going to do with the story. After all, if it wasn't all those things that you said in your journal it makes me wonder what it really is.

I like the description of the main character's job as moulding and shaping the children. There are a few tense issues in the first chapter, but other than that I think it's all right. The second chapter was interesting, I'm not quite sure how to feel about the format, but it's refreshing.

Very interesting.