Oh thnx ^^ , actually i'ts really a poem and i'm trying to improve the idea by expanding it more by making it a long story ^^
January 2nd, 2011 at 10:49am
This was really beautiful, and I adore your use of language and storytelling.
However, i do wonder why this isn't in the poetry section. Even though it tells a story, poetry is the form. But it's beautiful regardless.
I love the line "His name was Albert, he danced to her music once in a while."
Another nitpick- I can barely read the third paragraph (stanza?) because the word DREAM is totally obstructing my view.