Missing Eternity - Comments

It sounds more like you don't like my style.

Would you all frickin shut up about my grammar and lay out geez!

I found your story through Comment Swap and, I have to say, I'm not a fan.
I get that this is a vampire story so the obvious choice is for a black and blood red layout, but it makes it difficult to read. I also don't like the fact that you have it centered and broken up into lines as if it's a poem when it's really prose.
Your grammar is questionable throughout the first few chapters (and I'm not hooked enough on the plot to read any further). You're missing apostrophes and have words capitalized in the middle of sentences, which is a big no-no for me.
Also, I feel like your chapters are too short for me to actually get into them. Not much is covered in each part, and I don't feel like I should need to read 20 chapters just to get the information that can fit into two or three.

Your layout is very difficult to read, it kind of hurts my eyes, if your need any help with layouts you can just ask me? The summary is kind of confusing because the first half is in first person and the second is in third person, I think it would be best if you just stuck to one

Body is in quotation marks for a reason as you would know if you'd read more, my computer doesn't transfer files correctly. And I'd rather you comment on my story than make fun of my grammar.

The very first thing I noticed, other than that I like the layout, is that you misspelled 'destroyed'. And why is 'body' in quotation marks? 'and she stop at nothing to find his killer'. So it seems that you need to work on both grammar and spelling. In the actual chapters, the text is almost too dark to read. You should make it the same colour as your summary, maybe? This is slightly..not good. Definitely work on that. I'd invest in a beta: someone to proofread and correct any mistakes.

The smaller amounst of detail is part of the style, slowly more and more is supossed to revealed as time goes along like a fade in.

i like this a lot! good job

i like this a lot! good job

Hey your story is pretty good! You should definitely try to edit it and add more details, it would improve it a lot! All the best with the rest.

i really loved it!!! please update soon its really good!

Really? I get to write the first comment for this story?? What a priviledge! ^^ Okay, I am one of your subscribers for this story, and I'm really liking it. Every time a new chapter comes out I'm like yeah! Cause it's like a mystery, you know? And you have to peel it back layer by layer. I really like it, keep them coming!!