Rois de la Nuit - Comments

This is a good story. Update soon please.

First off, I really enjoyed the banter-ish narration of Lexxic. It was very amusing at many times. I also really like following his thought process and how he sort of jumped around from anecdote to anecdote because, honestly, that's how my thoughts end up drifting along a lot, so it was nice to see that mirrored in a character XD Like Alu mentioned above me, I also liked the little Twilight reference. It wasn't incredibly obvious, so it played off really well. I also liked how you chose to end the chapter, and I could just hear the narrator mutter "idiot..." in my head.

As far as concrit goes, I'd have to agree with college dropout in that this does tend to ramble quite a bit. At times, it's fitting, but I didn't really feel like I was getting anywhere both plot or character-wise by reading it. I feel like all I got out of this chapter was that Lexxic was bored, hates this other vamp named Angelion, likes Poe, and thinks Twilight is ridiculous. I just didn't get hooked in on this first chapter. I do think that you've created a great character to work with though.

Okay, first of all, I'm so, so sorry for the delay >.< Things have been absolutely crazy here. Oy. Anyways, I remember reading this a while back and I do remember loving it to a huge extent. The beginning was really, really good. I love how sarcastic the main character - I don't think you mentioned his name here; if you did, I'm so sorry for skipping over it. I'm sort of majorly pressed for time here >.< - the main character is. At least, he sounds that way to me xD Oh, and I legit died laughing when I read this: Only gay vampires sparkle. And when I say gay I don’t mean the happy or even homosexual ones. YOU'VE GOT ME HOOKED! <3
Okay, I'm going to sub to this. I'm loving it! <3

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

I freaking love Lexxic! :D
I like the way you're developing the characters, but all the thinking and character development seems to be preceding the plot development in importance...

So I hope the plot will hurry up soon (just not by too much). :)

Now, I have suppose I think that sentence needs to be revised a little

I think you make a mistake in the first two chapters in the first chapter it's a vampire female talking about Angelic (sp) who is referred to as HE and then in the second chapter you are still talking about Angelic refer to as he but from the perspective of another male vampire. Oh wait they are both dudes never mind I get it.

I think it's a good story and concept I believe some parts lag a bit or information is repeated a lot more then necessary to get the idea across. But I like it so I'll sub and see where things go =].

:)
I love the story idea, and I love the writing style...
and I love that last word.
"Idiot"

The way you introduce Lexxic (Lexxic... odd name... :| And I can't help but call Angelion, "Angelus")
The character introduction does seem to take up an annoyingly long amount of time though. There's not a lot of action going on, and that could cause readers to loose interest.

"After all, I’m the greatest mass murderer of all time and no one even knows it."
<3 I'm in LOVE!!! Finally, a vampire!

I do like the way you introduce Angelion. He's slightly more illusive, and thus an intriguing character...
Did I mention I love your description skills yet? Very... seductive, when you're introducing the girl. (I can't think of a better word! XD)

I think you've captured the dark nature of vampires perfectly in Lexxic! But there's no need to keep mentioning sparklepires, it ruins the mood. :\

This story intrigues me... I do believe I shall keep an eye on this! :)

I really like that you're doing something original with the whole vampire idea, it's refreshing to see this now that most vampire stories have become about romance and not really horror which, really, is what they're supposed to be. And you've got a pretty original character here with Lexxic. He's got a very specific tone and he's a really strong character. I think that if Angelion is such an important character, he should be introduced pretty soon because it feels a bit odd to just keep reading about Lexxic and at some point, you might lose things to talk about. Each chaptergot better and better, I thought. I liked Lexxic a bit more by the end than I did at the beginning. One thing that I have to say about Lexxic is that his word choice seems a bit off to me. I get that he's been alive for 6,000 years and would adopt the new traditions or whatever, but there doesn't seem to be anythig that he really holds onto from his past. Like his use of the word douche seemed waytoo modern for me, but by the fifth chapter, he sounded a lot more like the way I had imagined he would sound. I don't really read vampire stories at all but I think that you've got a pretty original idea here and you could probably take it pretty far. Great job!

wow, only two are left. wonder what happened to them....
Alexander :) I love that name so much
xD when he is explaining humans, we're like pathetic creatures
aww he's never mated, poor guy. i mean that he hasn't had somebody to love
not with the fact that he's never had sex xD
can humans and vampires mate in this story? just wondering
wow, kind of a dark guy. he believes in no God, and he thinks badly of other ones
i still like his chracter though, he's still just a good character
you're doing a wonderful job with this! good chapter 2!

LOVE Vamps!!!! This vamp's personality is like me!!! lol!!! I hope you keep going on this, it's really good!!! :3

ohh vampires, I like the originals :)
six thousand years old, that's so old xD
so, I'm curious to know how old these vampires look
I like his personality, he's just so... fun?
i relaly dont have a word to describe it
like this so far!

I really loved the tone that Lexxic has. You really brought him to life in the sense that he has emotions, as in the plural. Most characters, especially vampires, are either sickeningly happy or chronically depressed. It's nice to read about a character that is bored. Not suicidal, or love sick, just bored. I also really like the sarcastic humor that Lexxic uses, or you use for Lexxic. I also liked the mention of a few historical things like Poe and Salem, whose mere mention brought more reality into the story. Bravo.

Okay well, when I read the summary I was like "oh Shizz a vpire thing," ( I don't like vampire stuff)

And then I started to read the story! Ahhh. It's amazing so far.
The description, the use of words! The characters! Everything is pretty much amazing.

So you have aconplished the task of making me like a vampire story! A lot.

I notice a few grammar mistakes, but nothing really distracting.
Who's Angelion? You kinda just throw him in without explaining. Your tone does kinda ramble, like you say, and at times it sounds like it really fits the character but at other times it just sounds a little too much. You did a good job introducing this character and how he feels about his life and other vampires.

hey look first comment :) i love this story and i want you to keep going :) lexxic reminds me of damon from the vampire diaries but still keep going its really good :)