The Reason - Comments

I loved it! All the emotions felt very real and believable. I loved the ending but I also agree that it felt rushed.
Overall, it was very good!

To be honest, I don't follow hockey in the slightest, and I don't have any idea who the Sean and his teammates (and coach) are. I was worried that this would stop me from really enjoying the story, but it didn't.

I liked the flow and the character interaction, but I wish that each of the characters had a bit more depth. The ending also seemed to have been a bit rushed.

Regardless, I liked this. You did a good job. :]

For starters, when I saw you wanted to enter a Sean Avery story I was a little worried. I actually really don't like him as a player, but I knew that I needed to give the story a chance, I'm really happy that I did.

No story is perfect and there things that I loved and things that I felt could have been improved. By no means am I trying to be rude or anything of that nature.

One thing I really liked about the story was the summary, it really made me wanna read on and see what the story was about. It gave me a good feeling about the story and the feeling was right.

The things I loved the most was the descriptions, flow and character interaction. Those were the three things that really stood out in the best possible way. I also liked how you included some of the other teammates and it worked out nicely because you made Marc a minor character of important and I am a HUGE Staal fan! The amount of emotion that you put behind the words was also something that stuck really well with me. I really like the formation of the character that you gave for Sean. I liked that he was reluctant but at the same time he was really willing to change and learn from his mistakes. I liked how it was sectioned off into it's own seperate sections.

I felt that the ending was a little rushed, and I wish it was more of a bang. I really liked however the ending passage that was written it closed off the story nicely. I also wish there more instances where Sean tried to show Ashley that he changed but she said no or didn't want to believe him. I also wished the story was a little bit longer actually.

Overall there was more that I liked then felt needed a little improvement.

Best of luck to you! (:

Wow... I really like this story. I honestly never pictured a Sean Avery story like this. Well I just wanted to comment and tell you what a wonderful job you did! It really caught my interest!