An Impasse of Feathers. - Comments

Gosh, this is a really interesting piece. I love that you've written something so short with such meaning because I love short pieces and I don't see many that are written with such a poignant tone. I really do feel for Ryan throughout, especially when Brendon comes in and shatters the hallucination.

Honestly, from reading a few of your other pieces as well, you really do seem to have the art of writing Brendon and Ryan down to an absolute point. I can honestly imagine the pair of them in this scene so vividly because you look like you've got a really good grasp on their characters. I can imagine Ryan being the one who slowly devolves and I can also imagine Brendon being the one that looks after him. I love that Brendon seems completely unperturbed by Ryan's behaviour, almost as if it is a common occurrence. It just makes everything all that more sad because you realise it isn't the first time he's hallucinated, whether those hallucinations be birds or not.

I think someone already said this below, but what gets me about your writing style is how beautifully simple everything is, but it still comes across in this incredibly poetic way. This piece had a wonderful dreamlike quality to it. I almost felt as if I were in Ryan's delusion at the beginning because it was so away-with-the-fairies (I have no other phrase for it, I hope you know what I mean by that, sorry!) and really did have this fabulous dreamy quality to the tone.

Butterflies in jars were always pretty, but sometimes a moth has to go into a light bulb instead. - I absolutely love this line. I don't know what it is about it, but it really did catch my eye. It's such a beautiful metaphor. Absolutely gorgeous.

I really am a massive fan of your work right now. Your Ryden pieces are unlike any I have ever read before and I love that you include topics that can almost be considered taboo (mental illness as one, you portray your characters fabulously) and you write them well. I think this might be one of my favourite pieces on the site as a whole, actually.

Oh wow a bit creepy and strange like the guys hallucinating then when someone else walks in the hallucination ends.

Sounds like this kids has a few psychological problems and Bren is very used to hearing about such things from the other that he doesn't argue.

Nice work, great writing, I like :}

Oh my god, I think this is my favorite story. I haven't said that in a while and then again, Dru, your work if always none less in incredible. You never stop amazing me with your work. I love how you portray Ryan and Brendon so flawlessly, as if that was something they'd truly say and do. You are an amazing writer and I hope and pray you never stop.

-Greg

This was incredible. I need to stop acting so surprised every time I read something of yours, honestly. I loved everything about this, how it was short but somehow perfect, and included everything it needed to make sense. I like how you made it clear that something like this has happened before with Ryan, how Brandon seemed so exasperated but still so caring. I just really enjoyed reading this. "Sure, Ryan," he mumbled in reply, "there were birds." He turned on the vacuum cleaner as Ryan squeezed his eyes shut and tried to remember how he'd gotten here. The ending was lovely.

I like that your writing style is rather straightforward and simple yet you don't spell it out for the reader; there's still the sense at the beginning that something's not quite right but I like that you leave it open as to the reason behind Ryan's behaviour, although the voice high-pitched like a fever line leads me to believe that he might have some kind of mental condition or took something to help him write.

It's a rather pretty story if that makes sense. I like that the birds come to be from him ripping over the pillow, rather than them just being complete hallicuinations. And Brendon seems a nice guy from the way he interacts with Ryan; it's clear that this is a regular occurence but even though he's frustrated by it he's still sweet to him.

I particularly like these sentences:
The words were more selective about coming so he was less selective about how he caught them. Butterflies in jars were always pretty, but sometimes a moth has to go into a light bulb instead.
It's a good parallel and captures how writing can be; sometimes the words just come effortlessly and other times it's a real chore getting them out.

This is just incredible Dru, really incredible.
I love how either Ryan is either high, drunk or just crazy (or maybe just all of the above).
And how Brendon just seems so used to his behaviour.
Amazing.

I love this one also. I seriously doubt there is any of your stories that i wouldnt love.
this is so beautifully written and I think I just fell in love with Ryan.
Its amazing :)

I think I'm in love with your Ryan. This fic is so beautiful it hurts.

'Ryan laughed.' -- Wonderful first sentence.

"Aren't they pretty, Brendon? They're going to help me write." -- I love your dialogue Everything is so perfect.

I really like how you've portrayed Ryan here, he seems so innocent, yet also very broken. Like he's gone through something tramantic and us readers can only see part of the aftermath.

and maybe if he found a pen or a pencil or a crayon he'd be able to scribble a few words down on some paper or his jeans or the wall.
I love this line, it really shows how Ryan seems to only care about his music/lyrics - how it doesn't matter how he gets them down or what he has to go through, just as long as he gets them.
I like how you've written several other works linking Ryan with birds, you always manage to link them together really well. I don't know a lot about Panic, but from reading your work, they seem to go together really well as a metapor.

"Sure, Ryan," he mumbled in reply, "there were birds."
That line, for me, just summarizes the whole of Brendan and Ryan's relationship in this drabble. You can just tell that Ryan's been a bit messed up for a while, and that line shows how Brendan's starting to crack from the pressure of having to look after him.
So yeah, I really love this, and I love how you've captured Ryan's vulnerability.

I love how you portrayed Ryan and how Brendon is looking after him. You really have an amazing writing style and I hope you continue posting beautiful stories like this one. Also ... what's RBL?

I love the way you write. This story flowed well. I was wondering what the deal was with the birds in the beginning then I could tell that something was up. I wasn't sure what it was exactly but it kind of freaked me out. Then when Brendon came in and it turned out to be feathers it was so perfect. Brendon dealt with it well and in a way that makes me think Ryan has been having issues already and Bren's kind of used to it. I feel kind of bad for Ryan because he seems confused and vulnerable in the end. There's obviously something really wrong with the guy. I loved it <3

OH J'ADORE <3____<3
It seems a teeny bit different from your usual, less realisticgritty, more floatydreamlike. Or maybe that's just the contrast of the layout giving me that impression, lol.
Either way, I love the pillowfeatherbirds concept. This flowed like a perfect hallucination.

This was so wonderful The way you describe things was just beautifully done. At first, you think the birds are there and you're kind of wondering how they got there, but the way Ryan is portrayed just makes you think that something is off-- and that's when Brendon comes in and you can just tell by the way Brendon acts that there aren't any birds in the room. And then it turns out the feathers are from a torn pillow and now you're really wondering what's going on in Ryan's mind. I seriously loved reading this-- there's just so much in this short of a story and you did an excellent job writing this. Absolutely perfect.

This is a really pretty piece, Dru. I love the way that Ryan is portrayed. He's just so innocent and fragile. And you write it in such a lyrical way. It's like a lovely wave that's so even. I just can't describe your writing. I can't write drabbles, but you sure can.

I like how Brendon comes in and makes it obvious that the birds aren't real, but doesn't exactly breaks it to him. It makes me want to know more. Like how Ryan got home and why he's sleeping on the couch. And I really want to know what happened to his pillow.

The torn pillow really makes it obvious that something is wrong with Ryan's mind. That something is not exactly right internally. It's like a poet is trying to escape. And that is made even more obvious when he gets the urge to write a song. He seems so carefree. He just doesn't care where he gets the lyrics down, as long as his birds are by his side and the lyrics are down.

Brendon seems to really care, but he seems like he's being pushed to the edge. Like this isn't the first time Ryan has seen birds and talked to him about implausible things. I can tell that he's getting impatient and he thinks this is going so far. I don't know how I get so much from such a short piece, but you fit so much emotion into your writing.

I love this piece, Dru. Keep on writing!

New story.
Drabble, written for a contest.
Implied Ryden.
Set before the split, but after RBL.

Comments are love<333

xoxox
-Dru