Symphony Box - Comments

aww wow man that was really far out and then your authors note just topped it. This is greatness if even you fully don't understand it it's all still there how epic.

Please, don't tell me that you've deserted this and don't plan on continuing it. I was asked what my favorite story on here was, and I answered with this. I would love if you would continue this excellent, beautiful piece of work. <3

I love this, everything flowed so perfectly. "He pressed autumn leaves on the skin to simulate bruises and stuck rotting and wilting white carnations to replace the roses." That line was fantastic, you had the loveliest imagery throughout this entire thing. I don't really know what I'm saying anymore, I'm still kind of in awe. Oh, and I personally think that the layout works really well with what you wrote.

Your words are pretty much magical, and I wish I could offer a proper comment but I'm afraid I lack the ability to review things efficiently without looking outstandingly unworthy towards your work. "...with peach roses stemming from beneath the bed of his fingernails, bruises dirtying blushing skin...": this line is purely beautiful, along with the mysterious plotline. The fact that adoration spiraled into devilish greed enough to tear the Prince completely apart is absolutely mystical.

i've had this comment page open for ten minutes trying to think of what to write
but my minds still reeling a little from what i'd just read
and i haven't been invited to play the Story Review Game
or whatever that is
and so i still can't think of what to say
but if i did it would be extremely complimentary

Story Review Game.

First Impression: I think that this will be very interesting, just judging it by the title and summary. I do look forward to actually reading it.

Layout: Not gonna lie, I'm not really diggin' it. It's too bland for my taste. Plus I think a white story background with a brown / black text would look better. Oh, and a banner of some sort. These would help a whole big lot. These are just my opinions, though. I'm all for pretty, complex looking layouts. Though this one is well done, don't get me wrong.

I do like the thing at the top of the chapter, where it says "the boy who lost his heart"
Very interesting. I wouldn't mind knowing how to do that. ;)

Before now, before him, before her, there was a small adolescent prince with peach roses stemming from beneath the bed of his fingernails, bruises dirtying blushing skin and tattered wings branching off his arms and spinal cord. This line is absolutely beautiful. The description is so. . .breath-taking. This is probably my favorite line out of the whole thing.

until there was no one and no thing to show them to anymore.

I think 'no thing' should just be nothing. It would sound better, to me. It just sounds kind of awkward reading it as no thing.

He took the prince's nails and bones, drew the air from his lips and two lungs beneath his chest, uncovered the skin off his body, and indulged in the red wine of his heart. Okay, I lied. This is probably my favorite line. It's so morbid and almost sick. I'm all for morbid things. I love how you didn't just say 'he drank the blood from his heart'
No, you bypassed that completely and told us in a very tantalizing, almost intoxicating way.

You ended this on a very sad note, though you didn't go into detail about the eldests remorse, I could feel it. It brought tears to my eyes as I read of him trying to replace things and bring the Prince back. And I commend you for bringing those tears. I always look to feel emotion in writing, and this set so many of my emotions off. You haven't even the slightest clue.

In your authors note, you said "I don't even know. I really don't." Neither do I, my dear. But I really do hope that this will be a full-fledged story and not a short story. I would legitamently cry if this isn't going to be a full story. This has so much potential and I hope you use that potential to your greatest advantage. I feel that this will be a very successfull story. I think I shall promote it myself to be sure that it does reach the highest of success. Because this is absolutely wonderful. You haven't gone into a lot of detail, you've left the reader wondering what exactly will happen. I do hope to find out soon.

You've got perfect spelling and grammar and I love you for it. Not very often to I find perfect stories such as this. A couple of run on sentences here and there, but who cares? This is fantastic.

Story Review Game

Firstly - I love the layout, and the chapter title font. It's simple and beautiful.

Love the first line. Before now, before him and before her, there was a small adolescent prince with peach roses stemming from beneath the bed of his fingernails, bruises dirtying blushing skin and tattered wings branching off his arms and spinal cord. It makes me curious, what is "now"? And who are the him and her you reference? It grabs my attention by alluding to the future, which is interesting. Also, your descriptions are lovely. It sounds like a fairytale. The one thing I feel kinda iffy about is calling him "adolescent", it feels very matter-of-fact. I don't know what else to refer to him as, but it seems too technical a term.

Even though the next paragraph is describing some horrible theft, you make it sound so perfect and beautiful. That last line, ...indulged in the red wine of his heart is incredible.

I'm really curious as to who "the oldest" is. I wonder if future chapters will continue to be this vague, or will you reveal more about these intriguing characters.

He resigned to normal citizen life, a life of taking sedatives, playing pretend he was a prince while the oldest weeped for the death of his beloved. And this makes me even more curious. Was it all a dream? Is he just a young boy who liked to play in imaginary scenes before someone, perhaps his older brother, just ruined his innocence?

This is an incredible piece of writing, deftly and skillfully written in a way that pulls the reader right in. As I was reading I couldn't help but marvel over the delicate and elegant quality of your writing. Great job!

This was honestly the most unique thing I've ever read on Mibba. I'm intrigued me from start to finish and I just loved every part of it. Your writing style is so different from every other writer on this site and it was such a refreshing story to read. This was so heavy and lyrical and beautiful. It reminded me of the song Northern Downpour because if you just listen to the song, its really beautiful sounding and soft, but if you take in the words, its actually a bit sad and dark and thats the feeling I got from this. The over-all feel was soft and nice because your word choice was just so great and the imagery was lovely, but if you just looked into what you were saying, it was really macabre. This was really amazing. Great job!

I really love this. I'm going to subscribe.
I love the way you write. It's so captivating and breathtaking.
I can't see what's in store next :)

xo