I Will Love You Forever - Comments

I really enjoyed reading this. The twist at the end completely caught me off guard since I thought that this would have a happy end since it seemed that he made it across the street... But I think the twist made the story so much better, even though it would be just as amazing with a happy ending.

But seriously. I loved this. I love their relationship and how, after he broke it off with her, he came back to tell her his true feelings. And I really love how you added flashbacks. I think it added to the story as a whole, and it helped when describing their past relationship and their characters. Amazing work!

This was depressing. But I loved it. [x
I loved everything about it, really. I adore happy endings, I really do. And I certainly didn't expect the final twist there at the end. I was literally on the edge of my seat, jaw-dropped, reading quickly, on the verge of tears. You were able to hook me into this story excellently, which is something quite hard to do. I admit, I wasn't too into it at the beginning, but I'm so happy I read on. It really is wonderful. Simple, lovely, to the point without it sounding rushed. I adore it.

the layout was nice. i liked the banner because she looked really sad. but i guess that is a reason to dislike it. the summary. short, but good. it made me interested that he would leave and then show up again. so many possibilities there. the chapter was really detailed, which i liked. i also liked the flashback parts, because those make stories interesting. i liked the ending how he ran into the street like the flashback. but then i'm not sure, if it was he who had died. if it was, like i'm pretty sure it was, that was really sad ): good story though , i really liked it.

^. I think you mean deja vu.

Anyway. I think that the flashback kind of seemed unnecessary. I don't know, I just don't really like the way you put it in. I think if there was a better way to tie it in I would like it better. Also, there was a lot of repeated phrases that kind of ruined the flow. But other than that, you've got a very cute story here, however, the V.2 just...I would take that out.

I don't know what it is about this story, but I honestly feel this deshavu' feeling when I read it. I'm incredibly sure I've never read it before, and yet, I just connect with it, aha. It kind of reminds me of how in love, and how soft, and just how loving I used to be with a certain guy I know and still kind of love. People changed, things changed, but I'm really, really glad that I got to read this. It brought that feeling back and it reminded me just how important and amazing it was. I haven't even finished reading this story and I'm already flooded with emotions - you're amazing, aha.

I haven't read the other version of this, but gracious, I don't think I want to, aha. This version is amazing and I just, I adore it. All the detail, the memories, the writing style. Totes amazing.<3 The only thing I would recommend on such a perfect piece is to re-check the grammar.

I really, really, enjoyed reading this.<3 (:

I have to admit that I like this one better. I like the added little memory because it ties that little bit in quite nicely and it was so mean giving us hope but it worked so beautifully to have his ghost there talking to her to the end. It made it just that much more touching and stirring. I absolutely adore this version, these characters and this story.

Even though it's a rewrite, I like how you were able to keep just as much real emotion in this one as you did in the original. I kind of liked this version better than the last. Your writing flowed together nicely here as well, a little better than the first one actually. I'm not sure what else to say that I didn't say on the last version...

I like the characters a lot too. They're very realistic characters, and you developed them very well. I feel bad that this comment is so short, but there's not much else I can say that I didn't already say on the other one. Both versions were very good, but I did enjoy this one more.

I liked this one a lot better too. It's a good thing overall, though. Generally for a moment I thought she was just going to be like, you effed me screw you and just move on since she was like... begging him to go. But I think it was really sweet how you sort of incorporated the whole "love beats all" sort of thing into it. I like stories that have like a hidden point your trying to get across.
I think Blake is a really interesting character, the way he talks like he's all olden day. I think it sort of adds to his sweet little charm though, going around calling her Ms and saying it was a pleasure. He's just a little adorable.
The ending was just incredibly heartbreaking though. Especially the end I was just sitting there like "WHY!?" cue spotlight and dropping to the knees. It's fantastic though(:

I like the ending to this one a lot better. I just, yeah. It seemed less rushed, more realistic. You convey the heavy emotion well, I really enjoyed this. I know this is a fairly poor comment but I'm not sure what to say, it was so bittersweet, slightly predictable but bittersweet nonetheless. I really did love this, but to answer your question, I preferred this one. I think that little bit extra gave something a lot bigger in terms of the plot and such. :)

I thought that this was good, and I liked it better than the original version. The detail was good and the dialogue was both smooth and believable. Keep it up :).

Wow what an honor to comment this one first.

I love how you went back and told the story of why he was there and all that. Again I love the detail and the talking parts you put into both of these stories.

This right here: ---> "I felt a lump in my throat, and suddenly I could feel the pain in every bone in my body. I screamed in agony. “But, Baby… I will love you forever…” I mumbled, touching his cold face, watching my warm tears fall on his cheeks, but their warmth wasn’t enough to bring him back. “…forever…” "

Made me tear up so badly, but it was a very good ending to this story. I really liked both of these stories.

You are an amazing writer,
Keep up the good work. <3