Linda. - Comments

  • imbalance

    imbalance (100)

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    I am judging for the contest :D
    This story was beautiful but really sad. I love the guitar and the way she sings and her dad sung too.
    The ending was amazing, but really sad too. It seems lonely to me as well, although it never said she felt lonely. Just the way she is only with her guitar, never with anyone else, that sounds lonely. Although it did say she was alone, it didn't exactly say she was lonely.
    If I were in her position, I'd be pretty lonely too.
    This was just sadly beautiful.
    I did find a few mistakes though:
    I was distraught parentless and lived in a house where I was hated.
    I think this should be I was distraught, parentless, and lived in a house where I was hated.
    I have left Linda to you as I want you to learn to play her and carry on with what I couldn’t, keeping your mothers soul alive.
    Mothers should be mother's.
    ...through my window falling onto Linda’ my guitar, my most treasured possession...
    I think instead of Linda' it should be Linda,
    Me, Dad and mum eating ice cream in the kitchen, mum pushing me on my swing, Dad and mum holding each other in the moonlight.
    All the mums should have capital Ms.
    Dad was right Linda kept my mother’s spirit alive in me.
    I think this should be Dad was right, Linda kept my mother’s spirit alive in me.
    Okay! That's it.
    Please check into the contest soon to see the winners!
    April 7th, 2011 at 10:17am
  • GemalemPixie

    GemalemPixie (100)

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    Thankyou, i was trying to keep it happy as possible xD
    January 17th, 2011 at 10:06pm
  • Wonderlandslost

    Wonderlandslost (100)

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    I really enjoyed reading this.
    :)
    It was really cute, made me smile even though it was sad.
    I loved it.
    You did a wonderful job.
    January 17th, 2011 at 07:08pm
  • GemalemPixie

    GemalemPixie (100)

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    Thankyou =]
    January 17th, 2011 at 01:32pm
  • Gail Vengeance

    Gail Vengeance (100)

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    This was beautiful !!
    January 17th, 2011 at 02:08am
  • GemalemPixie

    GemalemPixie (100)

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    :) Thankyouuuu xx Ill put your link up soon :D x
    January 16th, 2011 at 11:56pm
  • Broken_Elli

    Broken_Elli (100)

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    Love it =3 x
    January 16th, 2011 at 11:53pm