I am judging for the contest :D This story was beautiful but really sad. I love the guitar and the way she sings and her dad sung too. The ending was amazing, but really sad too. It seems lonely to me as well, although it never said she felt lonely. Just the way she is only with her guitar, never with anyone else, that sounds lonely. Although it did say she was alone, it didn't exactly say she was lonely. If I were in her position, I'd be pretty lonely too. This was just sadly beautiful. I did find a few mistakes though: I was distraught parentless and lived in a house where I was hated. I think this should be I was distraught, parentless, and lived in a house where I was hated. I have left Linda to you as I want you to learn to play her and carry on with what I couldn’t, keeping your mothers soul alive. Mothers should be mother's. ...through my window falling onto Linda’ my guitar, my most treasured possession... I think instead of Linda' it should be Linda, Me, Dad and mum eating ice cream in the kitchen, mum pushing me on my swing, Dad and mum holding each other in the moonlight. All the mums should have capital Ms. Dad was right Linda kept my mother’s spirit alive in me. I think this should be Dad was right, Linda kept my mother’s spirit alive in me. Okay! That's it. Please check into the contest soon to see the winners!
This story was beautiful but really sad. I love the guitar and the way she sings and her dad sung too.
The ending was amazing, but really sad too. It seems lonely to me as well, although it never said she felt lonely. Just the way she is only with her guitar, never with anyone else, that sounds lonely. Although it did say she was alone, it didn't exactly say she was lonely.
If I were in her position, I'd be pretty lonely too.
This was just sadly beautiful.
I did find a few mistakes though:
I was distraught parentless and lived in a house where I was hated.
I think this should be I was distraught, parentless, and lived in a house where I was hated.
I have left Linda to you as I want you to learn to play her and carry on with what I couldn’t, keeping your mothers soul alive.
Mothers should be mother's.
...through my window falling onto Linda’ my guitar, my most treasured possession...
I think instead of Linda' it should be Linda,
Me, Dad and mum eating ice cream in the kitchen, mum pushing me on my swing, Dad and mum holding each other in the moonlight.
All the mums should have capital Ms.
Dad was right Linda kept my mother’s spirit alive in me.
I think this should be Dad was right, Linda kept my mother’s spirit alive in me.
Okay! That's it.
Please check into the contest soon to see the winners!