July 13th, 2012 at 06:57am
When Your Heart Begins to Break - Comments
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I just finished the first chapter and I like it so far! I think the thing I like the most is Sapphire's character, she's different than a lot of teh characters I see, she's like a real person. It made me feel bad for her and I think I'm as excited for her to move as she is. You should definitely keep it up! =]July 8th, 2012 at 10:14am
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Naw frank and jamia <3
When's gerard gonna ask sapphire out? :D
Cant wait to read some more!March 15th, 2012 at 01:02pm -
Aw, it's ok that it took forever, I love it(: <3March 13th, 2012 at 01:19pm
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Been a long time....March 13th, 2012 at 05:23am
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Yayayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay a chapter for me after begging for forever haha XD thank you now i will oficially be the update police and harass you until you start updating at regular intervalsMarch 13th, 2012 at 04:35am
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I WAS LEGIT THINKING ABOUT THIS STORY!!! I'm glad you updated :DMarch 13th, 2012 at 04:26am
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So I just found this and dude! It's awesome! I honestly can't wait to read more! :3
Saph and Gee are just way too cute ^-^ They give me the squishies xD
And Frankie is fucking adorable xDFebruary 1st, 2012 at 01:36pm -
finally! i have been waiting so long to read this, so long! anyway i loved it keep the writing coming because i really love it!December 2nd, 2011 at 01:59am
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I thought you died! I was like...geez, I hope crystal didn't kick the bucket...I'm glad your back! *hugs* I love this story :DNovember 29th, 2011 at 12:29am
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aw:'( really thought something bad happened.. oh and the start was awesome;)
course we don't hate you! school comes first plus you still updated!^.^
AH! I LOVE THEM:') they're so amazing.
okay, sorry for my jumbled randomness, I'm leaving>.<November 28th, 2011 at 10:45pm -
Ugh! Double post!November 14th, 2011 at 06:22am
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I love Frank's character :D
So, as soon as I dye my hair red, Gerard goes back to black. That little bitch ._.November 14th, 2011 at 06:22am -
I love Frank's character :D
So, as soon as I dye my hair red, Gerard goes back to black. That little bitch ._.November 14th, 2011 at 06:22am -
This is seriously great! I love it! Dawwz Gee and Sapphire are adorable! Update soon!November 6th, 2011 at 02:46pm
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Yayayay another amazing update+pics of mcr from their preformance that was on my birthday awesome!October 31st, 2011 at 01:28am
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Amazing update, aww Gerard really loves her doesn't he, bless. Loved the pics at the end, back in black XD xxOctober 30th, 2011 at 03:58pm
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I thought I commented on this story?O.o
damn, sorry 'bout that>.<
this story is awesome! I love it and I'm waiting for the next chapter^.^
which better be soon.. or else..
*empty threat*
*maybe?*October 30th, 2011 at 10:28am -
Hello there! Guess What! I just subscribed to your story! XD
Anywhosit, I know how the horror movie thing goes, except I've seen maybe four in my life. Eh what can I say except picky parentals.October 30th, 2011 at 04:08am -
But lol!
WTF were they wearing?October 30th, 2011 at 03:06am
'Kay, first off, yay MCR fanfiction. This is only like the 3rd one they've sent me. Ugh.
Next, the layout. Bright red really hurts some people's eyes. The bright blue on it hurts too, and the black on bright red just is difficult. You could just do maybe a darker red then a light grey or white text. The background is nice though.
As for the writing, I've noticed many spelling and grammar errors, but this is also your first fanfiction, so there's a bit of leeway. Anytime there's dialogue, though, you absolutely need quotation marks.
I like the plot of this, and I'm excited to read more. Just keep going! Good luck!