March 9th, 2011 at 04:53am
- Layout picture - The picture fits perfectly with the theme. I like how it looks drawn (I’m an artist, so I like art). The picture also has me excited about what’s to come.
- Layout background - Color scheme is good and easy on the eyes and the layout in its whole isn’t too busy. I like nice, simple layouts.
- Story title and chapter title – Although they’re both cliché, it doesn’t matter because the picture makes up for it.
- Expressing the theme/ plot – After researching selkies, I have a good idea of what the main character Neith is going to do later on in the story. That’s expressed in a very creative way. The only problem, though, was that you forgot to BBcode the link of my contest in your summary. Just make sure you fix that. If you don’t know who to do that, this can help you (note that I just did it).
- Grammar – everything was perfect here.
- Introduction – I really like the introduction of this chapter. It makes judging the competition less of a dread. I’m willing to read what else you have more and I’m actually really looking forward to doing so.
- Plot setting clarified – I’m not really clear of the plot but that’s okay. Some stories start out slower than others. But you did get across the fact that she’s in some sort of imprisonment (hopefully that’s what is really going on).
- Imagery – Very good imagery. I imagined the frozen bowl of water and the fucked up place she must be in. And the screams of woman being raped really makes me think of something ugly, but that’s a good thing in this case.
- Interest – You have me beyond interested. I truly do want to read this story and find out what’s going on with Neith.
- Clarity – It’s clear to me that she’s in some sort of imprisonment, like I stated before. And it’s also clear that she’s confused a little bit.
- Creativity – I believe it’s a little too early into the story to judge whether it’s creative or not. Because you’re writing about a mythological creature, I can’t tell yet whether or not this is 100% original, or you’re hacking (which I don’t think you are).
- Grammar – For the most part your grammar was good, but you have to put commas whenever you’re repeating the same word more than once in a row.
I just wanted to comment though and say that I like the stream of consciousness style that's apparent in quite a few of your stories. It's very vivid but doesn't give the whole picture of what's happening which makes me curious to read on.