France Romance - Comments

You're pretty good of a writer, but you're a poor speller. The idea is good, and it's interesting,

I like this so far. The idea is really different and I don't think I've ever seen anything like it. I saw a few mistkaes, but nothing too bad. Good job.

I like it so far :) I think you have a really interesting idea. My only helpful critique is probably some grammar and spelling mistakes :) I am not perfect either, and I know it is hard to get them all! Maybe just reread a few times, or maybe even out loud, I find that, that helps sometimes.

Other than that, I really did like it and I want to see where you take the story. Great job! :)

This is a really interesting idea and it is unique as well. I really liked how you began with the news that Carley and her friends would be going to France, but I was wondering why her friends were going as well? Maybe her mother or father could explain why she wouldn’t be going to France by herself.

Carley walk’s to her mother and sit beside her.
This was the sentence that you changed tenses. It should be Carley walked to her mother and sat beside her.

The only problems I saw within this first chapter was that there were a few commas missing in a few spots and a few words were capitalized that shouldn’t be. It seemed a little awkward to me as I read it. I feel that there should be more explanation about her parents suddenly going somewhere and shipping her to another country. But that was just me.

Anyway, this is a very interesting story so far. Keep up the good work.