A Week With A Cop - Comments

I really love the idea of this.

Although I did notice a large number of grammar/spelling errors, they've all been mentioned above, so I won't go in depth with them. Just have a quick proof read or find a beta who can fix them for you quickly :)

You have some really nice description and the idea you've got going here is great. I love the short chapters, which are easy to read and give quick bursts of action so that the reader remains interested, and you keep up the suspense at the end of each chapter and make me want to read more of it.

Keep going, this shows real promise!

this is a really interesting idea that I like,
it's somethng really unique, and you can hardly get that on mibba
though I wish you had a layout, it'd really enhance the story :D
jeez, talk about an excitng beginning. she's in the care with Officer Hicks,
he gets a call, and then she sees a man trying to stab a woman D:
I lke the first chapter, it was good. and it kinda set up what they do day by day
I hate when it's so cold that you can't get the car to start,
it's like really, just really? ahh the wonders of winter...
ohh talk about a hook at the end of chapter 2!
I wonder what's waiting for her... I'm curious! you did a great job with that :)

this is a very good story. i'm going to suscribe for sure. i loed chapter 4, because the plot was the exact same thing i saw on police women of dallas. you have an amazing talent.

Very good.

U better do more lol
Me loves it <3 : )
SUBSCRIBE <3

Also, it strikes me that, 'demands the man to drop his weapon' would be better as 'demands that the man drop his weapon'. Just a thought.

This is a good idea, and a good opening, but it would be easier to read if you fixed a few small items of spelling and grammar.

For example, your dialogue can be a bit difficult to read:

Officer Hicks looks at me and tells me, "What ever you do don't get out of this car" I replied "OK, sir" Officer Hicks then runs over to the man with the knife with his gun drawn and demands the man to drop his weapon.

This was a huge mouthful, and there are a few easy fixes you could try to make it better. Firstly, each new speaker in a conversation should be placed in a new sentence, on a new line. Commas go before dialogue, and punctuation of some kind follows it afterward. 'Whatever' is also one word. I would recommend doing something like this:


Officer Hicks looks at me and tells me, "Whatever you do don't get out of this car."

I reply, "OK, sir."

Officer Hicks then runs over to the man with the knife with his gun drawn and demands the man to drop his weapon.

You need to remember to watch your tenses, too. If one part of a scene is written in the present tense (runs, looks, demands, replies), then keep it all consistent.

So, overall, I think you're onto a good thing, but going over this again one more time for mistakes would make it easier to read, and might see you with more readers.

Your storyline is a nice base. This story has a lot of potential but it would be really nice if you elaborated stuff a little more. You wow us in the chapters, not leaving us bored 'cause there's something going on which is awesome. You detail the arrestments and pursues greatly it seems more vivid 'cause it seems like you very well know what you're writing about, which is a major plus. Maybe skim through your chapters and correct misspelled words. Some are probably errors you missed, but I'd like to read more. Good job :)

all i's should be in capital. :) <3

thanks Illl go back in and fix this problem. And it did help alot

This is good, but I can see why it got reported.
Perhaps your punctuation should be placed in the right places?
Like, if a character has said something, you put the full stop before the ".
e.g "My fuzzy little bunny has the cutest whiskers."
NOT "My fuzzy little bunny has the cutest whiskers".
Hope this helped.

Ok, so cool topic.

I'm going to CC this, I hope that's alright.

1. It needs a layout, the defaults alright, it's readable, but it doesn't represent your story.

2. A summary, because you don't have a layout, the thing people are going to look to when they click on your story is a long description, which also seems to be gone.

3. You need to watch your grammar, it's all over the place, and it's also not following mibba rules.

Like I said, I really love the idea. Good luck with your story :) <3

This story is creepy, but in a good way. haha =P

Likey it <3
I want more! PLZ!!!???
If you love me lol
<3 foREVer <3

Needs a little bit more description, but I'm curious as to what happens next:]