Where do I come in!?????? Lol love the story keep up the good work
June 9th, 2011 at 09:21pm
A Hard (Love) Life - Comments
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YAY! you continued it :DMay 27th, 2011 at 02:48am
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PLEASE finish this!May 16th, 2011 at 11:05pm
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allstarfan3210 thats exactly who i think it is too!!!(: Its so gunna b Cameron or im gunna cry!!April 10th, 2011 at 08:19pm
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i bet its cameron :)April 2nd, 2011 at 04:51am
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when are you going to be posting more?March 5th, 2011 at 02:40am
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i like your story :)March 4th, 2011 at 11:06pm
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I like your story so far! Your plot line is very original. That's good because so many fanfictions are so similar.
Don't get mad at me, but I have some ways in which you could improve your writing. First, there were several times you said "Zack," instead of "Zach." The latter of the two, is the way "Zach Porter" of Allstar Weekend spells his name. Also, there were some spelling errors. You could fix that by just going over it before you post. For example, there were places where you said the wrong 'to'. There are three different "to's" all meaning different things. I'm sorry, but it bugs me when people confuse them. Another thing is that you made some gramatical errors in places. Again, easily fixed by proof reading. Overall, you could improve your story by adding more details. For example instead of:
"A few minutes later the bell, which meant we had to leave school for today rings and we stand up. We start walking to my home. When we get there we keep talking as usual, Cam keeps tugging my hair playfully, which is odd, he only usually tugs it once a day."
you could put
"A few minutes later, the loud bell rang signaling to us that school was over. The guys and I quickly stood up, and walked out of the school. The air smelled like freshly mowed grass, and the sun was beating down on us as we walked the journey to my home. We talked the whole way, enjoying each others company. Cam, who likes to tug on my hair daily, was repeatedily tugging it. It confused me, as he never does it this often."
Overall, your story is good. I like it. Keep writing!January 27th, 2011 at 08:04pm -
Your story is so good so far!!January 27th, 2011 at 06:49pm
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i will fix the rating so ignore that last comment by me!January 26th, 2011 at 03:07pm
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hiya! sorry, made a mistake, supposed to be rated pg 13, not pg!January 26th, 2011 at 03:05pm
