Simple Memory I - Comments

i love this so much! sometimes the simplest memories are the ones we love and remember the most.

This was very sweet. I can feel your emotions and love towards your mother and it makes me appreciate that I have a mother just as grand. Such a great job! <3

This was very moving, and really cute. I can remember my mom and I doing similar things, and I do the same thing with my kids now. This was very real and the emotions portrayed within it made me feel as if I were talking about my mother. This was very sweet and I enjoyed it a lot. Great job.

This was really cute. <3
I love how well you portrayed the relationship with your mother, really well done.
Your writing is very good, although I think you could maybe put more details into it.
Anyways, amazing job. <3

This was such an incredibly sweet story. It really was.

Ok, so, firstly, i love your layout, but i do just kinda havw a thing for stars. But anyways, truly amazing story. It made me feel very happy, and even more so nostalgic. Very beautiful peice of writing,
I dont see anything wrong with your story, grammer-wise, so the only thing left to say is, keep writing!

So. Pretty <3 I wish I had memories with my ma, something like that. Haha.

Anyway, layout: beautiful. simplicity is sometimes the best, ya know?

Story: I loved it. It made me feel, safe, warm, and comforted. You've got some skill if you can make your readers feel something. The way you placed the story also gave it a little extra UMPH! the short paragraphs made everything stand out and have an impact. Overall, I'd give this a freakin' 8/10 SPLENDID :D

It is a little hard to read some of the words because the stars in the background are white, as is the text. I might make the story area black and have the stars as the general background.

I really like it. I have an amazing relationship with my mom and it's nice to see a good parent/child relationship on Mibba. Most of the time people just write about parents being assholes.

There were a few places where the tone seemed a little inconsistent, but overall it flowed quite well. I got the feel that someone was telling me the story rather than writing it.

This is so beautiful. I love the fact that you can remember this in such detail, being so young. It is written really well, too, and it flows perfectly. Its so full of emotion - you portrayed it brilliantly. In all honesty, it brought a tear to my eye.
This is really great. Keep it up.

<3

I think it's wonderful that you have such a beautiful memory. And I have to agree with SuKawaii. I love the line about a bad person who broke a star. I though it was touching and inspiring both. It's just one of those nice little snippets in time that you can hold onto and keep with you forever. I really liked this.

First of all, lovely layout with all the stars<3 And also, just as i'm on the outside; stated, I can't believe it doesn't have more comments.

I always loved true stories, memories, all of that. Because, within the story, you can feel what the author is feeling, and almost experience everything with them as well. This short story was just so... simplistic. It was incredibly beautiful to read, and think about all the little things in my own life. This story just gave me a feeling of complete serenity, because it makes people realize all the small happy moments that could have at one point been the highlight of a time.

Not to mention, I like how you view your mom. I always seem to find stories and journals with so much hatred about them and it makes me sad :/

"They are looking for a bad person who broke a star.”
I loved that quote. It's just sooo..... cute? I don't know but it's so adorable <3 tehe!

Awesome job<3

Wow, can't believe there's no comments on this, it's really good and I loved your detail and the way you captured everything(:<3
Good Job<3