Arafura - Comments

Hey I read all of it and it's great =) Really gripping and fast-paced, which is good. There was one error I noticed in the third chapter, though.
"Jethro tore his eyes from the rusty steppes to gaze up at the poisonous-looking green-tinged yellow sky and sighed. He hadn't thought about Jethro's family." I think you meant to say "Adrian tore is eyes from..." etc etc?
Keep writing!

Just finished reading the first two chapters. I'm liking it so far. Seems to be an original storyline.
There was something strange about it though... maybe a little bit more character development..i'm not sure.
But I am starting to like it..its...intriguing :) Can't wait to read chapter three!!

This is exciting! I love stories like this!!

(Can't wait for more!!!)

XD thanks for the feedback,

@LauZ humanity at a whole isn't a full empire, more of a confederacy of separate factions, which I have generally dubbed 'empires'. Ambiguous, I know.

I read it, and is was going down...

do more earth like names... like the United Countries of Earth, and the empire idea is old... all the futuristic things use old concepts BORING.

And the text was too short to make some suspence...

It does look pretty good, in agreement with Chapter. But the only concern I could MAYBE see is a little choppiness, which I do all the time.
Write more, though! I'm waiting!

Thanks for reading the prologue! I'll try to write more of it as soon as I can :D I'll have it done perhaps in a few more days.

It looks like its got potential, and seems like it's going to be a good story, though i won't know till you write more (hint hint) :P