Amazing! But I learned that reading your George story ;) I decided since you were finished with such I was going to creep your profile and stumbled upon this. It's wonderful!
this is kick ass, seriously. 'you're making me want to fuck him'-i fell in love with eloise at that point. her character is slowly evolving and revealing more of itself, and it's lovely. this definitely needs to be continued, it's wonderfully original for a fan-fiction. i've read a lot, looking for inspiration and a different take on my own, and this is one of the best i've come across.
This story is... there are no words for the way it is written. Your flow is amazing and extremely New York Best-Seller-ish. Eloise is, for lack of better words, very well put together. It is very obvious that you put your heart into this story, and for that, I applaud you. Your extremely proper English and grammar is very refreshing and makes the story more exciting to read. All in all, your story is of epic proportions. Keep up the amazing work. Looking forward to more.