The Diary of Alice Quinn - Comments

Wow. I love this! It makes such an impact on the reader, and I think you've written it really well. :)

Sorry for the italics. D: I forgot the [ /i]

I read the summary thinking this will definately be an amazing un-cliché diary of a young girl'. Urgh. I hate having to say this but from reading the first chapter it sounds terribly cliché. I was so dissapointed. I mean, she starts off by telling us what age she is etc. And then says she's six months pregnant. She talks about her childhood sweetheart. It just sounds so... typical. I do hope you put an interesting twist to make it very different to other diarys because so far it's not giving me that impression. However I love the layout. The image is very good for the story. I also love how she is only writing this diary in one day. My one problem is the fact that you put the date on the first chapter. It just doesn't fit when the other chapters don't have dates as it is written in one day. Perhaps you should take away the date and write it at the start of the first chapter. E.g: It is 23rd September and here I am... blah blah blah.

PS: 23rd of September is my friends birthday btw. XD

I like the twist you put in this story with Alice lying in order to keep the baby a secret. It gives a different effect to the story than if he were to find out and either stay with her or leave because he didn't want to take responsibility.

The layout and tone of the story makes me feel like I was reading the lost diary of someone from the middle ages. Obviously you'd have to take out the school, alcohol and everything related to music but it's just the feel the story gives. I really like it and like the other commenter's I believe you should continue on with it. It's off to a great start.

This was amazing. I think you should continue on with it.

The last two updates were heartbreaking.
She's given up so much so he can have a life which is sweet but also kind of stupid because he'll have a child that he'll not know about.

Love, love, love it.

I love the starting of this because it's not like any other teeange love story, it's different and full of raw emotion. We've all had boyfriend's who we've seen as knights in shinning amour and we've all fallen deep in love with someone before only to have something (not a paregnancy in my case) to pop up and break down the relationship.

Amazing start, really amazing <3