Do Us Part - Comments

The opening line is what got me interested. By reading it, you can tell that the story is going to be that of the cutesy type, which I love! The layout was utterly amazing, I'm jealous of it!(:
Keep writing! Your amazing at it!

I thought you were beautiful from the moment I first laid eyes on you.

The opening line was just... wonderful. Simple & blunt, but pure and honest.

Your hair was red and your eyes were green and you looked like some sort of Irish angel.

Thankfully the second line wasn't much of a let-down. I love that: Irish angel. It was very inspiring -- believe it or not, I subscribed, because it's something I want to come back to and look at. I loved it. Every word of it. Especially the end.

Placing my name beside yours once more is one of the hardest things I’ll ever have to do, and when I wake up in the morning, we won’t be married anymore.

I cried. Yup, I did.

This was beautifully written! I loved it! The detail and emotion was so real, I felt her pain. Despite lack of setting and character (which is understandable in a drabble) I felt as if I were there with her, or I was her.

Great job! :)

I adore how bittersweet this is, how it goes from describing how perfect they were together, to the narrator's internal questioning, to the end where the marriage is no more. I like the sense of mystery, that it's not clear why she wanted a divorce or where she will go.

The opening is wonderful. I love how it seems to be the typical 'love at first sight' story and how you later subvert it. It's beautifully done; the whole thing flows together perfectly. I really liked the description of the woman, and how the guy has to force himself to introduce them, and then has to force himself to sign the papers.

The banner is beautiful; it makes me think that both people involved are a little unsure of where they go from here.

Beautiful.

I'd assumed that he was writing a love letter to her, and because of your banner, I pictured he was doing so in some beach house in the middle of the afternoon, staring out into the sea, missing her, loving her. When it came to the end, I had no idea he'd been signing his name on a divorce paper.

Your term, "Irish angel", is wonderful. The way it rolls off the tongue so easily, I don't know, I felt that was the best part for me throughout the entire thing. It's so gut-wretching when love dies, to lose the one you love because their flame for you has died. Haven't we all been through that? Such a terrible feeling. (An understatement, no doubt.)

The writing in general was gorgeous. I've really no complaints. There's nothing to crit. Well done.

Dude, I'm so jealous of that chicks red hair. I totally miss my red hair. Le sigh. I love the way you write, it's this simplistic yet poetic flow thing type. Obviously, I want to hump it. I was expecting some cheesy lovey-dovey story but you made it sad and then you made me sad and now I'm like WHY THEY GETTING DIVORCE STOPPIT.

GIRL WITH RED HAIR, Y U NO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND?

Really lovely, and at the same time obviously pretty sad. It feels real, y'know, and it leaves me thinking. I'm all "did she not want to get a divorce, did he cheat on her, what's going on?!" and that's a great thing I think. I love how it was obvious what she was doing and yet nowhere you specifically said "ayo getting a divorce kk!"

The scenery spoke for itself and the layout just adds to the mood.
Loved it!

Heartbreaking seems to be the common adjective to describe this piece. Your flow was good, the concept amazing. The part about the handwritten name in cursive was my favorite. Perfectly poetic to get just the right amount of emotion through.

Beautiful. Heart-breaking.Amazing

This was really amazing, its simlplicity added to its beauty, i loved reading this. It flowed and the words sat so comfortably on the screen. The layout was perfect, i loved the picture.

The beginnig made me smile, then it ended so sad, yet i wouldnt have it end any other way.

I loved her description and her beauty being trapped in her signature, 'irish angel' i loved that title he gave her.

Your hair was red and your eyes were green and you looked like some sort of Irish angel.

Gorgeous line. Just amazing.

I loved this. And the layout, as well. It's kind of sad, but it's still amazing.

Wonderful job.

I love this. It reminds me of one of my favourite Irish songs. Star of The County Down. Though it doesn't have anything to do with divorce, the song has the same kind of way about it, the way they're singing about the girl. Anyways, I think it's simple, and pretty. Kind of sad, though. I don't think I've got criticism for you, because I think you did a wonderful job. (:

Yes. This is...just yes. I really don't know what to say that hasn't been said. And it's perfect because of the length. The descriptions and flow captivated me through this. Then the lead up to the final line is something I adore. And I like how 'divorce' isn't used in the story, but that it's obvious what that stack of papers is meant to do. Lovely job.

I'm tearing up!! I just want to cry at this!! D:
I didn't find any mistakes, and your writing was absolutely beautiful in this. The descriptions really added to the tone and showed how much he cared for her. Absolutely amazing.

The story is quite heartbreaking. But it's really nice.

THE LAYOUT IS GORGEOUS. <3 :3

And you really did bring out his emotion, but he was kind of shrugging-it-off, y'know?

Anywho, it's very nice, Aaden. (:

So, I thought my story was heartbreaking. I don't think I'd ever be able to do that to a person, divorce them without a reason. I like that you've titled it Irish Angel, there's a sense of forgiveness in it. You've made it clear that he's still in love with her which is beautiful. Your descriptions are beautiful, how you described her smile... it was unique. I like the word you used, grandeur I've never seen it on this site. I think you did wonderful on this.(:

I can't even begin to tell you how much I adore the layout, bby. It's so beautiful just like you! Further more, the way your words flow and how beautiful descriptions never fail to amaze me. I love how you began by describing the girl as if she were the most beautiful girl in the world and how the story gradually fades into something more unsettling and sad. The whole thing itself was crazy brilliant and very deep. If I had to chose a favorite of your work, it would probably be this one (next to I Hope You Find It, however.) Great, great job. <3

Oh wow powerful, I'm telling you that now. I love your layout and banner. This flows perfectly and it had such emotion, the final line broke my heart. This was brilliant.

WHAT. IS. THIS? SERIOUSLY.
I'm sitting here, oh-so innocently, and begin reading your story. She's Irish and so a ginger, I snicker inwardly to myself but nonetheless keep on reading. Then you've got this cutes-y she was so beautiful I had to meet her type deal going on. I read "it wasn't meant to be" take a double take and realize that it says "was" and then smile a little because I'll admit- I'm a sucker for these types of things. Aw, so cute! It's going to be this cute happy thing of how she's an angel.

... BAM! CRASH! POOF!
^ those are my sound effects for the world crashing around me because WAIT WHAT? EVERYTHING JUST GOT SAD? DIVORCE?

Even though there's so much divorce everywhere (like half the marriages or something) I've never read a story on it, and it's just so sad, especially the part where he sees her name in cursive. I never really give thought to it, but divorcing must be so hard really. Thinking about what happened, where everything changes to fast, and I like that about this. It's short so everything happens so fast that it seems like one moment they're meeting and the next they're divorcing all in a few sentences.

Even though it's so incredibly sad I want to rip someone's tits off, you know I love it.
:D

first comment, woo <3!
so I love tihs layout so much ,it's gorgeous!
I like the banner too, it reminds me of Hayley Williams :3
I love the beginning, how he thought she was so beautiful
and I like how it jumped into them getting married,
but I like how you didn't directly say "they got married"
aww the ending is sad though :( divorce papers :(
I knew what it was the moment he said stack of white papers
though this was sad, I really did love this, it was great :D