Broken Strings - Comments

I love this story it's so wellly written. I love how her son came in just as things were about to turn in the wrong detection. But just to put my imputt in I think right at the end she should have told him she was pregnant again lol that would have made for a funny end you know just to defuse the tension lol

The way you started the story, opening in the middle of the conflict, is brilliant. And the dialogue in the argument flows. The story seems very interesting and you're very good at writing your characters as people with feelings, but also as people with responsibilities. This is an impressive start and I'm sure it's going good places.

There are a few spelling issues, like at one point when you put "wit out" instead of "without," but those can be fixed in no time.

I LOVE THIS! i like the innocence of the child mixed in with the tension of the adults its a great contrast.
" I wasn’t that weird, nerdy loser who liked to alone. The freak that would hum show tunes under her breath and then break out into dance when she thought no one was watching"I think you described me. I love this story purely based on this XD

This was a lovely one shot(: It was extremely well written and I loved the dialogue between them. I agree with the comment below me when they say it felt as if they were watching a movie because It did the way you described it. It was really, really good(:

This was really, really, really good. And really well written also, I just really loved this(:

I really love this. From the summary to the end of the one-shot, it was written beautifully. I love the details you put in here; I can literally feel the tension in the room between the two characters. And it was almost like I was watching a movie.

I think I only found one error:

“Too late, I am doing to eat it all!”

Overall, this was an awesome one-shot! Thanks for sharing!!

oh my god.
oh my GOD.
this is just.. wow. I'm speechless. xD
This is really, really great. Seriously.
I can't even begin to explain. :'3