The Hunt - Comments

Well, I want to make this short and sweet (um, I'm the person who made the World of Fantasy contest that you entered, and I'm about to announce the places) but I really like the way you didn't rush the story. The wordiness you used makes it seem longer than it really is and I like that. Although the vampire thing is a little used up, you still managed to put together a bittersweet story without it getting too romantic, especially since he's a vampire, demon, whatever. You've actually made it a little harder for me to judge this, but it's okay, I have an idea of what I'm going to do. I like the layout, too bad I can't see the picture that's supposed to be there, but it doesn't matter to me too much. I didn't even read the summery, I just realized. But that doesn't matter either.

Good job. I'll put a comment on your page with a length to the winners so stay tuned.

First off, I'm really diggin' the layout for this story.
Everything just sort of... fits together, I say.

Second off, I really like the story so far. I love how graphic it is, unlike other vampire stories.
Everything can't be all Twinkle Twilight and thank god yours isn't.

Keep up the good work!

Hi, I'm another judge for ayanasioux's World of Fantasy contest. I'm looking specifically at grammar.
So far you're grammar is fine. But I thought I'd comment anyway, and say that your use of description is very vivid.

The layout strikes me as very, very deadly, yet, incredibly beautiful. In fact, the only thing I dislike about this gorgeous layout is how the link color is completely random, aha. Other than that, I adore this layout. One of the prettiest I've seen on Mibbs. :)

Because in his hands it stood, and in his hands it would stay.

My beating, pulsing heart.

That was a touch extreme, but in all honesty, really really nice. Bringing, "he stole my heart," to a whole new level, aha. :)

I'm at a bit of a standstill inside myself after reading this. I liked your detail because of how amazingly worded it was, yet, at the same time I found I disliked it because there was barely any speech to accompany it. It was slightly unbalanced to me. But then again, even without speech, it's beautiful still. You've got some serious talent m'dear.<33

I really enjoyed reading this. :)

Wait, so did he physically rip out her heart? Sick. I like that this is twisted in some way. Not just some girl who's falling in love with a vegetarian vampire. I like that he's manipulative in a way, at least from what I can gather in the first chapter. I like that she knows she should be afraid of him but she's like dude, that's hawt. Because honestly, that'd be me. I'd totally find a scary ass vampire hot. But I'm just fucked up. Anywho, excellent beginning chapter. :) I'll subscribe.

OH HOT DAMN. Wow. I just have to say I think I just fell in love with your story. The first three paragraphs were like WOW. You are an AMAZING writer you put in so much detail and everything is amazing. I can't wait to read more so I am going to go now cause I just HAVE to subscribe and I can't wait for the next update

I really like this. :)
It's very capitvating.

I subscribed!