Secretly Cybering With the Enemy - Comments

My-Mental-Fiction (100)

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Age:: 29
Location:: Norway

This was absolutly fantastic!!!!! <3 <3

April 22nd, 2013 at 05:35pm

Angela415162 (100)

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Age:: 32
Location:: United States

Fucking great I loved it

October 11th, 2011 at 08:20pm

Durch-Den-Monsun-87 (100)

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Age:: 33
Location:: United States

oihoghrog[vhsfd

I LOVED THIS!!!
the scavenger hunt brian sent zacky on was just too damn cute!!!!
it was awesome and i love it!!!

August 5th, 2011 at 12:46am

Rachelish (400)

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Age:: 32
Location:: Australia

>.<

O-Kay

Let me put you at ease,I really liked the story :) But as I am known to do, I have a few constructive criticisms.

I loved the fact that it only took five chapters (or six?) for them to meet because I was dying for it to happen, but I had actually expected it to be dragged out, I mean a month passed in what? two chapters? You had potential to take this story further then you did.

The other thing is the sex scene. By golly, you put more effort into their cybering, then you did that! For me, it was literally a "I Have a Dog, The Dog is Brown, The Brown Dog likes me" kind of situation. You don't just lube up your fingers and stick 'em in. I dunno, personally, I felt disappointed with that particular scene. And then from there it seemed like you couldn't wait to finish it. It was all too rushed for my liking.

Anyway, this is just my humble opinion and I hope it doesn't upset you, because i loved your story I just felt like it could have been more :)

April 6th, 2011 at 02:23am

InsaneLaughter (100)

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Age:: 29
Location:: France

I wanna sequal! I love this story!

April 1st, 2011 at 09:54pm

bloodyvengeance (100)

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Age:: 28
Location:: United States

please write a sequel this story is awesome love it !!

March 24th, 2011 at 03:26am

Angela415162 (100)

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Age:: 32
Location:: United States

it was great !

March 10th, 2011 at 07:49pm

Slytherin (100)

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Gender:: ♀
Age:: 27
Location:: Great Britain (UK)

Fricking loved this story! >< sooo epically cute
awwww the last chapter is just mega loveage!!! ^_^
I was literally sitting at my computer going awrhh! Everything 2 seconds :3
OHMYGOSH! A squel would just be AMAZING! YOU SHOULD DO IT
Love Jay shadz xo

March 5th, 2011 at 04:18am

bloodravyn (100)

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Age:: 43
Location:: United States

*jumps up and down and all around, waving both arms crazily*
i do!
i want a sequel!

March 3rd, 2011 at 10:33am

Bullocks (100)

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Gender:: ♀
Age:: 27
Location:: United States

You need to write a sequal. I love this story.

March 2nd, 2011 at 05:16am

QueenofBatCountry (100)

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Age:: 28
Location:: United States

I loved it so much

March 1st, 2011 at 02:16am

chickenorawesomeness (100)

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Age:: 29
Location:: United States

OMG EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think if you were planning to write a squeal, keep it in the POVs your already writing in. No offense, but fanfiction stories that end up having kids from the main characters, and then they switch POVs in the squeal are kinda boring.Cause sure I understand the kids are really important, but most writers that do that forget to mention main characters in the first story. I feel like they still play a big role. Sorry if I offended anyone out there. I do read stories like that, but they don't really catch my eye as well as the pre-queal. I do love the idea about you writing a squeal this.

February 27th, 2011 at 09:37pm